Page 55 of More Than I Can Bear

“Spending the day watching you draw? That’s no hardship for me.” River shrugged. “I’m good with a brush. If you need me to prime some shoes or something, you can put me to work.”

Say yes, I begged mentally.Say yes.

“OK, then. Yeah, I’ll find something for you to do,” she said with a smile.

The way that made me feel, warming me from the depths of my soul, was a feeling I carried with me as I strode out to my car.

“Call Margot,” I told my phone as I turned the key in the ignition, easing the car out onto the road.

“Kaine!” the woman purred. “Got a new project in the works? What kind of artworks are you after now?”

“A new project? Yes. But looking for new artworks? No.” I smiled as I put my foot down on the accelerator. “Rather than selling me some artworks, I’ve got some you might want to buy.”

Chapter28

Adam

I hated this plan. I fucking hated it with every breath in my body, but as I stood in front of a mirror, adjusting my dress shirt and pants, I knew I just had to get through it.

“Here you go. Get this into you.” Darren handed me a can of beer, cracking his own with a flourish. I didn’t feel the excitement he obviously felt, but I had to pretend. I opened the beer and tapped my can against his, then drank deep. Jack wanted me drunk and disorderly. I could get on board with that. I needed something to get me through this and it looked like Dutch courage would be it.

Dickhead.

Failure.

Fuckup.

My brain was entirely focussed on all the ways I’d screwed up, playing everything Jack and Kaine had told me over and over in a loop. And if that didn’t convince me that I’d made a mistake, Freya’s expression had. The shadows under her eyes, how pale her skin was… I stifled a growl and drank the rest of the can down in a few gulps before crushing it in my grip.

“Fuck, yeah!” Darren said with a grin, polishing off his own. “‘Bout time you started to let loose a bit. Tonight’s gonna be fucking epic.”

It wasn’t.

We had a few more beers as we waited for our other team mates to arrive. Darren had taken the bit between his teeth and run with it, ringing around to see if anyone was free. They all were. They filed into Darren’s flat, filling the small space with rowdy greetings and testosterone, right when I craved quiet… and her. As if sensing blood in the water, that’s when the ribbing started.

“Where’s your girl, Ades?” one guy asked, ruffling my hair. “Decided she didn’t want to go another round with your ugly mug.”

I shoved him off, but someone else was stepping in to take his place.

“Must be good pussy if you’re prepared to miss the fucking medal ceremony.”

The can in my hand crackled as my fingers dimpled the surface.

“Dunno what I’d find more satisfying,” another fella said. “Getting my dick sucked or watching Nathan Lyon’s mouth turn into a cat’s bum when he realised he lost.” He made a face, tightening his mouth to illustrate his point.

“Getting your dick sucked while watching Nathan Lyon realise he wasn’t gonna win, obviously,” Darren said. “Shoulda pushed that girl under the table. Could’ve had you unzipped—”

“Darren—” I growled.

“Polishing your nob like a pro—”

“Shut the fuck up,” I muttered to all of them, taking another drink.

“Probably the best place for her, because that chick had butterface,” Darren chortled.

A woman who had an attractive body but her face wasn’t. That’s what the term meant and that’s when I ruined everything. I was supposed to be convincing the world I was moving on, so why was my hand wrapped around Darren’s neck and squeezing?

“Adam!” someone shouted, but it was as if I could hear them from far, far away; easy to ignore. “Adam!”

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