Page 50 of More Than I Can Bear

“You didn’t?”

Why was there hope there in River’s eyes?

“Of course, I didn’t.” I stared into his eyes, took a tentative step forward, pleading for him to understand. “Adam rocked my world, literally. I was hiding at the back of the room and he drew me forward, into the light and for a minute…” I swallowed hard and River edged closer. “For a minute I didn’t care who was looking or staring. I was there, with him.” I experienced then the strange pleasure of having one man reach out and take my hand as I talked about being with another. “And all of a sudden I didn’t want to be anywhere else.”

River drew me close and I nestled in against his broad chest, not feeling like I could take a full breath until I was there. His big hand smoothed down my back, spanning my spine.

“But it wasn’t supposed to be for very long,” I whispered, though when his strokes slowed, I knew he’d heard me. “The only way I could get through it was to promise myself I could go back to my old life. That everything would go back to normal.”

“There is no normal for us,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry for that, Freya. If I had a choice…”

But he didn’t, they didn’t, and therefore I didn’t. When I looked up at him, he caressed my face, his eyes staring into mine and there it was, the strange feeling of connection that persisted, even though what I knew about River could have fitted on a medium sized post-it. A feeling I had no control over.

Like the one that had me moving towards Adam when he held out his hand, or sitting down to dinner with Kaine, despite the drama raging. The one that had me wanting to take a step closer, then another, obliterating the gap between River and me, despite what I thought about that, still feeling every point on my body he’d touched. This shit was out of control, had been since the moment I’d snuck out of Adam’s room. I should’ve had a conversation with Adam, put on my big girl panties and made clear what I wanted.

Then it struck me that there was no statute of limitations on doing just that.

I fished out my phone and saw several missed calls, but I tapped on just one to return it.

“Jack?” I said, the moment the call went through.

“How are you doing?” she asked me in a tight voice. “This is a shitstorm and I’m gonna kick Adam’s arse for this. The media has decided there’s a story here and you’re it.”

“So what do I do?” I tried to keep the plaintive note from my voice and failed. “You deal with this kind of thing all the time. What’s your advice?”

“You looking for someone to run damage control for you, babe? I got you. The only way ahead is getting in front of this shit. You ready for that?”

Did I have a choice? I stared at the blank screen of the TV and then nodded sharply.

“Yeah, I’m ready.”

Chapter26

Adam

I’d fucked up. It was becoming my mantra. That feeling of failure was growing by the second, pushing me down hard against my chair in the football club conference room, but when the door opened, something else happened.

I’d literally dreamed of this moment, of seeing Freya again, but when I did I still wasn’t prepared. Kaine was seated on one side of me and Phil Vale, the club president, was on the other side, but I was on my feet the moment she walked into the room.

There she was, Freya, with River at her back, my sleuthmate giving nothing away as he escorted her in. All I got from him was a quick cursory look and then he was pulling out a chair for her and she moved to stand in front of it. My fingers flexed, wanting to be the one to do that, but River hadn’t been the one that had fucked everything up. Jack had read me the riot act, Phil too, each one taking turns at ripping me to pieces. And with good reason.

“Mate,” Phil had said in his customary rough and ready manner, “the way you’ve handled this, it’s as if you raped the girl.” His eyes narrowed. “You didn’t, did you?”

“No.” Jack fielded that question, having prepared me for this meeting. “It’s a matter of two people getting caught up in the heat of the moment,” she explained.

“Then if it’s a misunderstanding, we need to get everyone around the table and straighten this out,” he said with a frown.

I wanted that like I wanted my next breath, but I’d never expected it to be like this.

Freya looked tired and drawn, her skin so much paler than before and somehow looking thin, like it would take nothing to bruise her. The bear roared inside me, wanting to fight whatever the hell made her look like that, but of course the problem was me. I’d done this, made shit worse, just like Kaine’d said I would, fucking everything up and—

“Freya, this is Phil Vale, the president of the club,” Jack said, making the necessary introductions.

“Lovely to meet you,” the man said, offering her his hand.

Don’t touch her!the bear roared. He saw the bite mark on her neck and made clear his feelings on the matter.Mate, that was his next thought, thenMine!But she wasn’t mine, that was the problem. I’d fucked up the delivery, wanting to forgo the need to court her by rushing in, but the result was still the same. Every bear shifter faced the threat of being rejected by the one woman they’d love and I was looking down the barrel of that right now.

“You too,” Freya replied, shooting him a shy smile.

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