Page 35 of More Than I Can Bear

“Well, look where we are.”

We both glanced up to see the sign outside a bar on Hindley Street. Merv’s was about as basic a pub as you could get, but it was wildly popular with university students. Mixed spirits had been served in jugs right up until the government stepped in, citing the effects of binge drinking and the increase of street fighting. But, back in its glory days, the two of us had spent a bit of time hanging around there between lectures.

“Fuck, Merv’s.”

“I figured some greasy food with a side of salmonella and watered down drinks was the only way to deal with this shit,” she said, removing the keys from the ignition and getting out, her heels clicking on the pavement as she came over to my door. I sat in the seat, painfully aware that I was still in my work uniform, but she just grabbed my hand and hauled me out after her. “You’ll hold my hair back if I vom and I’ll do the same for you. Deal?”

She’d asked me the same thing so many times before it was almost a ritual between us and the familiarity helped settle me. I smiled and nodded, and we walked in.

80s sleaze rock blared way too loudly from the PA system. Blokes who no doubt were in their heyday when these songs were brand new were sprinkled through the place, either sitting at the bar or lurking in booths. Their heads swivelled around, scenting new blood in the water, but when we reached the bar Jack slung her arm around my shoulder, grinning at the nearest bloke.

“Checking out my girlfriend?” she said, watching the hope rise in the guy’s eyes. They always seemed to think Jack being gay was somehow an invitation for them to explore their hottest fantasies. “Sorry, mate, the only dick she wraps her hand around is mine.”

She left the guy to splutter, trying to work out what the fuck that meant, as she put in an order with the tired looking barmaid.

“A gin and tonic and a whiskey sour,” Jack told the woman, then looked aside at me. “And a round of tequila shots.”

“Tequila—?” I started to protest.

“If there was ever a time to kill some brain cells, this is it, babe,” she said, paying for the drinks and then collecting them up on a tray before expertly moving the two of us over to an empty booth. “So…” She pushed a shot over to me.

I stared at the golden liquid for just a second, then snatched it up and downed it quickly, feeling that harsh blast, fighting the urge to cough after swallowing it.

“So.” I met her eyes finally, seeing concern and affection and a bewilderment that I was sure was reflected in mine. “How long have you known about this?”

“Just found out this afternoon, same as you,” she said. “Fuck, Frey, I’d never hold out on you about something like this. I went around to Adam’s to rip him a new arsehole.”

Adam. Why did I flush at the sound of his name, feeling a wave of that pleasure I’d felt touching his bite mark? No, his mating mark, I now knew. He’d bitten me, claimed me, like a dog might a bone.

“I still might, by the look on your face. Tell me Older Brother behaved a whole lot better,” she said, searching my face.

“He was lovely.” I took a sip of my gin and then another, needing that lemony taste. “They both were in different ways…”

“But they get furry on occasion,” she said, “and that’s a problem.”

“I…” Words failed me. It was like I couldn’t actually feel my emotions, that everything was kept locked behind an ice wall of shock, but as I took another sip, I felt cracks start to form in it. “I…” But that’s when my thoughts began to swirl.

Kaine and Adam together, prepared to share me. Bears. Being claimed. Without permission. What had happened the night of the medal count, all that sweetness and heat, seemed to take on a different tone, now I had additional information to go on.

“I feel like I’ve been lied to,” I said finally, and Jack’s expression shifted to one of empathy. “Like, I get it, seriously. If he came up to me and said ‘Hey, I’ve just met you, and this is crazy. I turn into a bear at will, fuck me maybe?’ I would’ve told you to contact the nearest mental health professional because your star player was having a psychotic break but…”

“But a girl likes to know what she’s getting into,” Jack finished for me. “He should’ve told you.” Her hand gripped mine. “And if that night was too soon, then he shouldn’t have done anything serious like… claim you until you were ready. You didn’t consent, Freya.”

That was definitely part of it. I felt like something had been taken from me, but that it was more than the chance to make an educated decision. It was as if he’d grabbed my positive memory of what had happened, something I’d been carrying around like a little flame to keep me warm, and had just blown it out.

“I… don’t normally do things like that,” I told Jack and she nodded slowly. “Like I’d… never…”

“Never ever?” she said quietly.

“Never ever. And that’s not the way I always thought it’d go down. I’d meet some guy and we’d click and slowly get to know each other and, one day, I’d just know, right?”

“Right.”

“And then it’d happen, with someone I know, I trust. But with Adam I just jumped in headfirst and that’s not who I am. And… what if…?” I frowned as the thought struck me, then took another sip of my drink. “What if that was part of this whole thing? I mean, if they can turn into bears, can they…?”

I couldn’t say it, but Jack did.

“Magically roofie you? I asked Adam that question because I needed to know if I was going to punch his teeth down his throat. As far as he knows, that’s not how it works. They want to give you their still beating hearts on a platter, but women remain as they are.” She smiled ruefully. “They’re supposed to get to know you, feel you out, then broach the idea of revealing what they are, before any mating marks are given. I’m not going to try and convince you to forgive him at all, but he knows he fucked up.” She shook her head. “It’s the only thing that stopped me from kicking his arse, but…”

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