Page 105 of More Than I Can Bear

Adam?

He jerked back as if stung, his grip growing painfully tight as he stared down at me.

Freya? How are…? What…?

Adam, have you been holding anything back from us?

I watched his smile fade, the light dim inside him and I hated that he’d done that for us.

What’re you talking about?He moved to take me in his arms, but I slid my hands across his chest, holding him at arm’s length.Freya, you—?

You were offered a place in the draft this year.

He frowned but didn’t look shocked by that news, shaking his head, but before he could answer, Kaine and River came outside.

“What’s going on?” Kaine asked. “Freya, they’re about to officially open the exhibition. We need to head back inside.”

I just shook my head slowly. River caught on first, tracking the way I stared into Adam’s eyes, waiting for him to confess. It wasn’t even that, share his news with us.

We’re your sleuth, I told him. We…My mind stuttered on the word, but then I remembered what Jack had said.We love you.

Do you?Adam searched my face and it took me a moment to decipher his expression, because I’d never seen anything like it. Doubt, that was it. Enough to be together, but… He shook his head, jerking backwards before glancing at the others. “Billy gave me a call the night after the Bridgewater,” he told the guys. “He had an offer.”

“What kind of offer?” Kaine snapped, but River just seemed resigned. He moved closer to me, putting his arm around my shoulders. “What kind of offer, Adam?”

“The kind no football player can refuse,” Adam shot back, “but I did. For Freya.” He scanned the group. “For us. I’ve got fuck-all chance of making it into the big leagues because I’m in my twenties, and it wasn’t worth the risk. Freya said she didn’t want to be a WAG, didn’t want to spend her life in the spotlight and I respected that. I made the only call I could. I told him I wasn’t interested and to lose my number.”

“Adam…” River’s voice was a low rumble and he gripped his sleuthmate’s shoulder, but I couldn’t tell whether that was in commiseration or to prompt him to say the right thing.

“Adam, you should’ve—” Kaine started to say, but I broke in.

“Ask me again.”

“What?” Adam’s brow knotted as he stared down at me.

“Ask me again. Whatever you would’ve said the morning after the medal count. Ask me again.” His teeth sunk into his bottom lip and then he let out a sigh, taking my hand again and stroking the back with his thumb. “Ask me again, Adam Farrelly.”

“Freya…” Time felt like it stopped still as his eyes stared into mine. “I know this is all happening way too fast.” I let out a little huff of incredulity at that. “But I feel like there’s something here, something real.” When he squeezed my hand, I squeezed back. “I’m never going to love anyone else. I’ll spend my life trying to make your life the best it can be, but… I know I’m asking you to jump off a cliff when you’ve got no idea what’s at the bottom, and I’m pretty sure you hate that and I know my brother does.”

“Bloody dickhead…” Kaine muttered.

“I wish I could have it all planned out, tell you what’s going to happen, but I can’t.” He stepped closer, so I could feel the heat radiating off his body, smell the expensive woody aftershave Kaine had selected, mixed with his own scent. “But I can say this. Whatever it takes to make this relationship work, I’ll do it, Frey, you know that.” He picked up my hand and placed it on his chest.You know me.That was said inside my head, as if the information was too intimate to be shared freely and I understood why.

Yes, I replied mentally, because my throat was bone dry. “Yes,” I said out loud. “Yes to us. Yes to our future.” I looked inside the gallery window, catching all the people massed around my work. “Yes to whatever the hell that looks like.”

“Yes to Adam being put forward for the draft?” River asked, watching me closely. “That could mean moving to Sydney or Melbourne, maybe Brisbane.”

“The dads have been wanting to break into the property market in Melbourne for some time,” Kaine said with a sheepish look. “They hit me up about it.”

“Just yes,” I replied, that aching feeling growing and growing inside my chest until it finally seemed to crack and just leave this: tears and joy, so much joy. Because you know what? I’d thought the glare of the spotlight was too much to bear, but sometimes it’s soft, just like the sun on a winter’s day. “Just yes.”

Epilogue

FREYA

Four Years Later

There’s nothing like an AFL grand final at the Melbourne Cricket Ground. I didn’t even fully understand how AFL worked, but even I could feel the energy. Everyone here was cheering, screaming, sometimes spewing abuse at the umpires, and I sat there trying to make sense of it all.

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