Page 72 of More Than I Can Bear

I was never able to ignore my notifications. If those little red numbers popped up, it didn’t matter what I was doing beforehand, I had to read through them, so any thought of looking up Bear Claw Studios went out the window when I saw the 99+ number in my notifications. I frowned as I scrolled through, seeing old comments on my feed before it had been set to private.

And this.

My heartbeat began to pound in my ears as I saw I’d been tagged in a heap of people’s photos. People I didn’t know. I blinked as my thumb hovered in the air, sure that I wasn’t going to like what I was about to see.

But I tapped on the screen anyway.

And that’s when I saw them. One photo, then another, of a glazed eyed Adam, just as we’d planned in the meeting at the footy clubhouse. He didn’t look like himself, the light inside him somehow dimmed. His eyes looked hollow, his gaze empty, no, distraught, as he gazed at the camera. But they didn’t. A little growl escaped my lips as I saw two beautiful women (were they twins?) raking their hands across his body like they had a right to.

I didn’t want any other women touching Adam. I wanted to break one woman’s fingers and bitch slap the other. And where the hell had that crap come from? I’d walked away. These ladies were within their rights to give things a go with him if all parties were open to it. But that’ was not how it felt.He’s mine, a selfish little voice said inside my head,Mine.

“Freya?” Kaine’s voice sounded like it came from far away and that reminded me of my situation. I’d spent the night with two smoking hot men, enjoying a very nice evening wedged between my lovers, just like Adam probably still was right now, but… “Freya?”

Coffee cups and plates of food were left abandoned with a clatter and the two rushed to my side. Kaine took one look at me and plucked my phone from my grip, looking at the screen.

“That little fuck…” he cursed.

“No,” I said, shaking my head, as if that would dislodge this feeling of… what? Betrayal? I’d looked at him from across the conference table and told Adam to do just this, so what did I expect? I had no hold over him and… “No, it’s fine.”

“Scent, remember?” River tapped the side of his nose. “No, it’s not.” He stared at Kaine. “Who the fuck took those photos? And who are those bloody girls? That’s not what Adam had planned.”

“Darren.”

Kaine snarled the man’s name and at that I remembered him. The guy who’d been at Adam’s side, intent on pushing a hot babe his way, then shooting me a disgruntled look when that didn’t work. I’d seen it before, straight guys who were way too interested in their mates’ love lives, as though the women they got with were more a means to consolidate that bond of mateship, rather than have an actual relationship with.

“He planned this?” River asked with a deep frown.

“It’s probably why Adam was such a mess last night.” Kaine shook his head. “He rang me from the gutter he was sitting in, drunk as a fucking skunk and…” He shot me a sidelong look. “Miserable.” Kaine looked incredibly uncomfortable, but he wouldn’t shy away from a difficult conversation, that was something I was learning about him. “This isn’t what Adam wants, Freya. He wants you.”

Why did that admission claw at my chest, destroying what peace I’d enjoyed since last night? He was just a one night stand, nothing to me. But I could see it somehow, an extension of the man in the photos. Someone broken down by a combination of bad luck and booze, someone…

Someone who missed me.

It’d felt like his eyes would sear holes into me when I walked into the conference room. And part of me needed that kind of need more than my next breath. It confirmed that what I’d felt that night was real for both of us. But then we’d talked coolly and clinically about solving the situation we’d found ourselves in. I’d just nodded along. That’s what I wanted, right? To get the heat of the public eye off me, to stop people focusing on the wrong person and…

Direct it back where it deserved to be, on Adam.

I grabbed my phone back then, going to my contacts to put a call into Jack.

“You saw the photos?” I asked her when she picked up.

“Did I ever?” She let out a sigh. “Phil’s having a conniption, but he’ll get over it. He’s just pissed at the journos talking about Adam not being a role model for the kiddies. But what did he think was going to happen?”

“Kaine said he’s miserable,” I said, every muscle tensing. “You didn’t tell me that.”

“Because the feelings of a man you had a one night stand with don’t matter,” she replied crisply. “Not until you say they do.” Jack paused for a second. “Do they, Freya?”

Why did I feel put on the spot by her question? Why did I care what Adam was going through? I didn’t know him… My mind stuttered on that, because somehow I felt like I did.

That didn’t stand up to any sort of scrutiny. I didn’t know how he liked his coffee made. Shit, I didn’t know if he liked coffee at all. I didn’t know if he thought Avatar: The Last Airbender was a masterpiece of modern animation or whether he listened to the top 40 stations or indie music. But for some reason I wanted to know. Because every time I remembered that night, I felt flushed with a strange kind of warmth that washed all the way through me, something that I’d only felt with two other men, and they stood in this kitchen.

“They do,” I said finally, then let out a sigh, a whole lot of tension leaching out of me. It felt like I’d just set down a burden I didn’t know I was carrying. “He does.”

“Well, as the team’s PR person, I could school you on how to stay under the radar until you’re ready to announce something real, give you some tricks for avoiding the media but—” she said.

“And as my friend?” My grip tightened around the phone.

“As your friend, I say talk to the boy. He’s a bloody idiot, like most men, but he’s not such a bad one. If you are determined to go dick, there’s certainly worse guys you could end up with. Talk to him, Freya. I think a lot of things could’ve been sorted out a whole lot better if the two of you had done that from the start.”

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