Page 15 of More Than I Can Bear

“Join… you?”

I watched Freya take a step towards the empty chair on auto-pilot, then consciously stop herself from doing just that.

“Only if you want to, of course,” I replied, focussing on salting my eggs rather than staring like a creeper.

“I…” She shook her head, as if breaking a spell and part of me crowed that I could have that effect on her. That it wasn’t just me who was affected. I was hard and aching, under the table, utterly transfixed by her. “I’d better not. I have a break coming up soon. Shit, why am I saying that?” She raked a few stray strands back from her face. “The breakfast rush is about to hit, so I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“What about after work?” I asked, trying to keep my tone light, even as the bear and I chanted ‘say yes, say yes’ over and over in my head. “I know a really lovely place that’s just opened up. My friend is the owner and he’s looking for some people to give feedback on the food.”

“Like… on a date?” She seemed utterly confused by the idea and as I leaned back in my chair, I cherished that befuddled expression. Were men that fucking stupid none of them had asked her out before? Were they like my dickhead brother, trying to rush her towards the bedroom as soon as they met her? Then she shook her head again. “No, you—”

“Yes.” I cut off what I was beginning to suspect would be a rush of self-deprecating crap. “A date, if you’re open to that, or just a meal shared between two people if that’s off the table.” I set the cutlery down and crossed my arms. “Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“Oh, right, um…” She looked around her guiltily, seeing the people coming streaming through the door. “Sure. Why not?” She bent down and scribbled her number down on a piece of paper from her order book and then slipped it under the saucer of my coffee. “I’m Freya, by the way.”

“Kaine,” I said, pretending I hadn’t heard her whisper my name. I held out my hand for her to shake and felt my body come alive when she took it.

She was so small. It was like holding a bird in my hand, all long slender bones and soft skin. My thumb twitched with the need to caress the back of her hand, but I just gave it a squeeze, there and gone again.

“Lovely to meet you, Freya. I’ll be in touch about dinner.”

I didn’t want her to go. I didn’t want her to walk away, but I knew she had to. When the noise of the cafe filtered through to me, I was sure it did so for her too, so I just smiled as she scurried back to the counter to help out, then snapped a photo of the phone number before shoving it into my pocket.

I didn’t tell Adam about Freya because I wanted this moment all to myself. I wanted to learn her, see how she responded, see if she could come to like me for who I was, not as Adam Farrelly’s brother. I wanted that so damn much, I was able to push the guilt I felt at Adam’s devastation to one side.

Just for now, I promised myself, him.Just give me this for now.

Chapter8

Freya

“What’s the deal with the return of the hottie?” Katie asked when I got back to the counter. When she nodded at Kaine who was now eating his breakfast, I felt a flush of something hot, something…. possessive? “He looks intense. Just my type.”

“Apparently he’s mine,” I said in a rush, then blinked, both of us looking confused at my outburst. “My type, I mean.” I smiled, feeling flustered. “He asked me out on a date.”

“You?!” Gloria always had an ear for gossip, appearing out of nowhere when it was being discussed, then strangely absent when work was on. “Shit. Sorry, Frey, but…” She smiled. “You said yes, right?”

“God, tell me you did.” Katie set the milk jug aside, pouring the froth into several cups with an expert flourish, but not moving to get the coffees to her tables. “Freya, tell me you said yes.”

“I did.” Admitting that was weird. Saying yes was weird. All of this was weird. Usually I had to do star jumps to get any guy to notice me and now I had two guys—three, my mind supplied helpfully, reminding me of Art Boy from last night—two and a half guys, I amended, buzzing around me like bees. I shrugged then as the two women let out a little incredulous laugh. “I did and I don’t know why.”

“I do.” Gloria’s eyes cut through the customers, zeroing in on Kaine as he ate. “That man is fine. He could eat those bacon and eggs right off my—”

But that wasn’t how it worked for me. I could see Kaine was attractive. He had that kind of big, muscular confidence that I’d deduced most women liked. Cheekbones so sharp his face looked like it was carved with a knife, softened only by lips that seemed a little too full, then those eyes, flicking up and cutting through everything else to stare back at us.

But that wasn’t enough.

He was like one of the marble statues I’d studied at art school, glacially white and perfect, pure, but that had nothing to do with sex or desire. That was just what he was. So why did I agree to go on a date with him?

Because of Jack.

She’d turned up at my place the day after the medal count, waving away my babbled apologies and holding up a bottle of gin.

“Babes, I’m just here for the blow by blow details. Actually scratch that. If you could spill the goss without drowning me in descriptions of peen in vag sex, I’ll love you forever.” She marched over to my kitchen, cracked the bottle and then searched in my cupboards for glasses before pausing to look back at me. “Mostly I’m here to see if you’re OK.”

Did everyone’s friend ask the same after a hookup? I didn’t know and couldn’t bring myself to check. I just nodded sharply and she abandoned the drinks and walked over to me.

“Did he look after you?” Her hands went to my arms, rubbing them up and down. “Did he pressure you in any way? Were you drunk? If you were, you know you couldn’t consent, right? You—”

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