Page 64 of Accidental Baby With My Brother's Best Friend

“What are you doing here?” He demands loudly, glaring furiously at me. My head snaps toward him as I sit up straight in surprise at his outburst. Will he give it a rest already? I'm much too exhausted to deal with his shit right now and I'm definitely not in the mood for this.

“Can we not do this?” I tell him, ignoring the obvious anger radiating off of his frame.

“Just leave. Don't let me have to repeat myself.” He warns, clearly frustrated by my presence.

I consider saying something back but eventually decide against it. Instead, I stand up, ignoring Dean’s glare. I take one last glance at Lily's face before making my exit from the room.

*******

“Well, you've Picasso-ed this situation. Time for an artful cleanup, maestro.” Harry quips, dropping another one of his not-so-amusing art jokes.

I sit next to him in this dark bar, and I drop my head into my hands for the one-millionth time in the past week. A week that’s been nothing short of hell. I feel like I’ve aged a million times faster from how much thinking I’ve done in the past few days, and it doesn’t help that no one can understand and empathize with my situation. I don’t even understand myself. How do I explain that I do love Lily more than anything, yet that love is the reason I’m so scared?

How do I explain that I’m scared of giving in to how I feel because I fear that one day, I’ll wake up and she won’t be there anymore, and just like my dad, I’ll become a shadow of my former self? How do I explain that all my life I’ve had to live without any attachments to anyone—emotional or otherwise. I’ve had no responsibilities for anyone my entire life, and now I’m suddenly faced with having to shoulder responsibility for not just one, but two people? No one would understand, and that’s what hurts the most.

There’s also the fact that I do miss Lily. I miss her presence in my life. I miss her sarcasm and our constant banters. Watching her lay helpless and unconscious on the hospital bed the other day, made me realize how much I love and care for her. How much I want her. How much I need her.

“Give me a break, will you?” I say exasperatedly. “You think I don’t know that already?”

“I don’t get it. You do love her, don’t you?” Harry asks with a concerned scowl.

Is that even a real question? My dejected appearance should tell how much I love her and how much I’m falling apart at the seams. I manage a nod of agreement despite my inner turmoil.

“Then go for it, Liam. I get it. We’re alike in more ways than either of us would like to admit. We want to live a carefree life; no responsibilities…no commitments. Have a taste of every pretty woman that New York has to offer. Drink and booze. Have all the fun. But we both know all of that only leaves a gaping hole in your heart. Like something is missing. The heart was made to love Liam and you can only deny its basic desires for so long. I mean, it was only a few months ago that we had this conversation, and you admitted that something was missing in your life. This is it, Liam. Lily and your baby–your real chance at a family—are what’s missing.”

I let the words sink in. There’s no denying the truth in his words, but they don’t calm the fears gnawing inside of me. What if I mess this up? What if I hurt her or hurt myself?

As though reading my thoughts, Harry continues, “It’ll work out. You love each other. There’s no doubt about that.” He says confidently. “Do away with those fears and quit being a chicken. You’ve never been the one to shy away from risks or allow your fears to stop you from doing something.”

“What’s your point?” I ask him, feeling a lot lighter now. It’s wondrous how much relief you can get just from talking about your problems even if the other party says gibberish like Harry does. On the contrary, Harry gives the best advice. Especially adrunkHarry.

“My point is. We’re meant to make mistakes in life. It might work out. You might end up becoming the best dad and husband in history. Or you might turn out as an epic flop, but we’d never know.” He grins cheekily at me.

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically. “What a confidence booster.”

“You’re welcome. You need to fix this, Liam. Take a chance on her, unless you don’t believe she’s worth the risk.”

She is. She’s worth everything. I hate to admit it but I’m starting to realize how dumb I’ve been. Here I am, the very thing I’d been craving all my life, staring me right in the face, and now I’m too afraid to take a chance because my stupid fears won’t let me do it.

Harry must have noticed my change in mood because he asks tentatively, “So, will you finally do the right thing?”

I pause for a minute, contemplating his words before shaking my head. No more thinking. No more fears. It’s time to do what’s right. Liam Denver has never been stopped by his fears. He won’t be stopped now.

“Yes. I will. Thanks, my friend.”

“Yeah, yeah. You can’t do without me, I know it and you don't have to admit it.”

“Whatever.”

“You should go get your woman back right now. This should be the last time you pull up in this bar looking this distraught. Let yourself be happy.” Harry says, raising a glass.

“Here’s hoping. First I have to have a very long talk with Dean. So here ’s also hoping that he won’t murder me before I even get a word out.” I respond, lifting my glass to clink against Harry’s.

I will do whatever I need to do to win Lily back either way, I just hope it’s not too late for us.

Chapter30

Lily

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