“I know…” Matthew sighs. Seems like I’m not the only one feeling guilty right now.
I pull back just enough to look up at him. “What do we do?”
“Let’s give him a couple of days to cool off. Then we can try to talk to him again.”
I exhale. “Okay.”
He pulls away, keeping hold of my hand to lead me toward the couch. He pulls me down onto his lap, and I tuck my head into the crook of his neck. The smell of sandalwood fills my senses and allows me to relax into him.
“Have you thought about what you’ll do once you sign the closing paperwork on your apartment?” Matthew asks, breaking the comfortable silence.
“It’s the only thing I’ve thought about for the last couple of weeks.”
“And? Are you going to put me out of my misery and finally tell me you’re moving here permanently?”
I exhale a relieved laugh. “When I’m done signing the paperwork, I’ll come back here if you’ll have me.”
“I wouldn’t want anything else.” Matthew kisses the top of my head. “What about your job?”
“I’ll need to see if I have any commitments I can’t get out of. Some of these events are booked out months in advance, so there’s a chance I may have to travel a bit.” I sigh. It’s highly likely that Veronica kept some of my prior engagements on the books, either because she was hopeful I’d come back or she wasn’t legally able to get out of them without any repercussions.
“We can deal with that when the time comes. Have you thought much about what you’ll want to do once you’re finished modeling?”
I take a deep breath, gathering my courage to tell Matthew my dream. “I think I want to try to write. I don’t have any outlandish belief that my book is good enough to have a career right off the bat. In fact, I’d really love your help to plot out an ending. However, I’ve been able to save quite a bit of money, and once my apartment is officially sold, I think I’ll be set for a few years. Even with splitting the mortgage and expenses, I can get away with exploring this writing thing to see if I’ll be any good at it. If not, I’ll figure something else out instead.”
Matthew smiles down at me. “I love that idea. And don’t worry about the expenses. I paid off the house last year, and I can more than afford the utilities by myself.”
I shake my head. “I’d like to help pay for things, Matty. I don’t want to be a freeloader.”
“How about we discuss all of that when you get back from the city, and we can come to a compromise we’re both happy with, okay?”
“Fine.” I huff. I have a sinking suspicion he won’t utter a word about sharing our expenses unless I force him to talk about it.
Matthew pulls out his phone. “Let’s book you a flight home. Do you think a week is enough time to get everything wrapped up?”
I give him a sheepish grin and shake my head. “I already booked one. I’m scheduled to return five days after I arrive in New York.”
His eyebrows wing up to his hairline. “When did you do that?”
“Last week.”
He gasps. “You mean, you’ve been letting me twist in the wind this whole time? I’ve been fretting about when you’d be back and you’ve had a plan for a week!”
“Fretting?” I scrunch my eyebrows at his word choice.
Matthew grabs a pillow and whacks me in the side. “Don’t mock me. I thought you had decided you were done with me.”
“Hey!” I protest. “You could’ve brought up the subject, too.”
He grunts at my observation, not wanting to agree with me. We’re both quiet for a minute while we soak up the comfort we get from each other.
“Are we okay? After everything with Desmond, I don’t want to leave if you and I aren’t okay,” I ask.
“We’re okay. Being in a fight with Des sucks, but I love you with everything in me, pretty girl. He’s not going to stop those feelings just because he’s mad at us.”
I sigh in relief. “I love you, too, Matty. I’ll make it right with him. I swear.”
“We’llmake it right. Together.”