Page 59 of Blindsided

It helps that I know Matthew at his core. Growing up with someone the way we did allows you an insider’s view into their personality that you don’t normally get with a stranger. These past two months have been spent getting to know each other as adults, and everything I’ve learned has only made me love him more.

And it’s true. I’m in love with Matthew. I’m just not confident he feels the same way about me.

“I can’t just laze around for months, Mom. I’ve made enough money to afford me some leeway, but it’s not enough to stop working altogether.”

“But if you moved in here, you wouldn’t have any bills to pay. You already sold your apartment. We could take care of you.”

I grab Mom’s hand. “I know you would. I just have other things to consider. I’m not quite sure I’m ready to give up my career yet. And even if I did, I’m not sure what I would do instead.”

“Does Matthew have anything to do with your indecision?” The way Mom is looking at me tells me she knows more than she’s letting on.

I bite my lip. I have no idea how honest I can be right now. What if she tells Des what’s been going on? Vague is probably my best bet here, so I shrug. “It’s been nice spending time with him. We get along well. I haven’t talked to him about what comes next, though.”

Mom looks at me for a second and then nods her head. “Okay, I’ll stop pressuring you. I just want you to be safe.”

“I do, too, Mom. I’m just not sure what that looks like yet.”

“You’ll keep us updated?” she asks.

With a nod of my head, we move on to other topics. How disappointed we were that Desmond’s hockey team didn’t advance in the playoffs, what Mom and Dad were planning for the summer, and the town gossip Mom has been catching up on since she’s been home.

All the while, my mind is spinning about what I want to do next. Staying with Matthew is only the tip of the iceberg. What will I do here if I come back? Modeling is out, which, if I’m honest with myself, isn’t exactly a negative. I know if I have to go back to the city, I won’t mind continuing modeling. I like it fine. But if I could choose, I’d give it up for Matthew in a heartbeat.

And I’m not sure if that’s smart.

I just need to pull up my big girl panties and talk to him. Whatever happens, I’m prepared for the outcome. Even if that means going back to the city.

CHAPTER26

Tilly

“You haven’t eaten all day.” Matthew’s voice startles me out of my focus. I blink to bring my attention back to the living room.

“What?” I look over the back of my chair to find him leaning against it.

“I’m making you a snack. Come hang out with me in the kitchen.”

I look at the time on my laptop and am surprised to see it’s three in the afternoon. I set my laptop aside and follow Matthew into the kitchen. He’s already plated up an entire board of meat, cheese, and crackers.

“This looks amazing. Thank you.” I press up on my toes to kiss him. We still haven’t talked about what happens after I close on my apartment in the city. I told him I was too tired when I got home from my parents’ house last night when, in all reality, I just chickened out. I’m driving myself crazy with how cowardly I’ve been.

“I also took the liberty of setting up a movie in the basement. You’ve been working all day. I’m feeling neglected.” Matthew’s pout is the cutest thing in the world.

I nip at his lip. “I’m sorry I’ve ignored you today.”

He growls, taking over my mouth. The counter digs into my hips with the pressure of his body pushing me backward. The things this man can do with his mouth… Gives me shivers every single time.

With a groan, Matthew pulls away from me. “You’re entirely too addicting.” He pops his palm against the side of my thigh. “Come on, help me carry this stuff downstairs. You need to eat before I eat you.” He winks.

We get everything set up on his couch, and Matthew turns on one of our favorite movies. Sergio snuggles into the cat tower that Matthew bought him, and a feeling of utter contentment steels over me. This is what my life could be like if I stayed here. How wonderful would that be?

I’m more ravenous than I realized. I practically hoover the entire tray of snacks by myself. Matthew just grins at me, as if he knew that’s what I would do from the beginning.

“I’ve got gossip if you want it.” Matthew bounces his eyebrows up and down.

I twist to face him full-on. “What is it?”

“When the guys and I went to O’Malley’s, we ran into one of Tucker’s firefighter buddies. Apparently, Carter really hit it off with this guy.”

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