Page 29 of Blindsided

“While you’re not wrong, you’ve also only gotten a small snippet of my life from the past month. I haven’t been in the best frame of mind recently. Modeling is this fast-paced life that lets me travel and meet new people. I’ve had experiences that not many others will ever get the opportunity to have.

“When I was younger, being backstage at fashion shows was a blast. I got to see people I didn’t hang out with regularly, the gossip was top-notch, and the undercurrent of competition drove me to be the best. This last show made me realize how much older I am than all the other girls. While the gossip is still fantastic, I didn’t have that same drive to be the best model out there.”

“Aren’t you already the best?”

“There’s always room to grow, no matter how long you’ve been in your job.”

“Profound and accurate,” I tease. It makes Tilly laugh like I hoped it would. “So, what I’m hearing—and feel free to tell me to shut up—is that you’ve lost your drive to keep pushing yourself to be better.”

Tilly sighs. “Yeah, I have. It’s probably just the mess I’m in right now. It’s not a surprise that I’m distracted.”

“No, but it’s also okay if you decide you no longer want to go back. The good news is you have time to think about it. If you miss modeling at the end of our time together, then you’ll have your answer.” My words make my heart lurch. Tilly will probably leave when her break is over. This little interlude won’t last forever. But why would I want it to? That would be ridiculous.

“That’s true. I’ve never gone this long without working.”

“I think you should commit to the break. Don’t do a single thing you don’t want to do. Read all day, run until your legs fall off, eat junk food, whatever your heart desires.”

“If I let myself eat junk food, I’ll gain thirty pounds, and then I won’t have to decide about going back. No one will want me to model.”

“Okay, well, we can do that one in moderation. And I’ll run an extra mile with you when we eat junk.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Good.”

The rest of the drive goes by quickly. We don’t say much, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable. I’m pulling into my driveway soon enough, and I get Tilly’s suitcase hauled up to the guest bedroom. She lets Sergio out of the carrier, and he bolts toward the bathroom.

“Do you want to watch a movie or something?” I don’t want her to feel like she has to stay in here now that we’re back.

“I think I’m going to read for a bit and then head to bed.”

“Totally understand. Just yell if you need something, okay?”

“Thanks, Matty.”

The nickname hits me in the chest, and I can’t help myself. I lean in to kiss her on the cheek and say a quick goodnight. Then I hightail it out of there before I do something dumb, like kiss her full-on. Even if I’ve been thinking about doing just that for weeks.

CHAPTER13

Tilly

Ieye the package of Oreos Matthew left out on the counter last night. I think he did it on purpose because I told him if I ate one now, I’d never stop eating them. He told me if I don’t help him eat at least a couple, he’s going to force me to eat more tofurkey.

I almost gave in right then, but I held back. Honestly, I just wanted to wait until we had movie night tonight. I love the combo of popcorn and Oreos. There’s something about the salty and sweet flavors mixing together that I’m obsessed with.

This past week has been exactly what I needed. I’ve slept in, gone on runs, and managed to put a decent dent into my TBR—to be read—pile. We’re not going to talk about how many Matthew has already added back onto my list.

I am starting to get a little restless, though. Having this much time off is weird. I haven’t quite figured out what to do with myself now that I have a chance to do whatever the hell I want.

Maybe I could find a hobby. If I read the entire two months I’m here, I’m pretty sure my eyeballs will fall out.

Needing a distraction, I decide to call my mom to see what my parents are up to.

“Hi, darling girl. How are you holding up?” Mom answers.

“Pretty well, surprisingly. I’ve been relaxing on Matthew’s massive couch in his basement for the past week, and it’s been wonderful.”

“You deserve all the rest you can get. Have the police given you any updates on your case?”