Page 23 of Blindsided

I clear my throat. “What face? I didn’t know I was making one.” Lies. I know exactly what was on my face. Unmasked lust for a man I’ll never be able to have.

“Maybe I was just seeing things. You look like you’re about to fall asleep sitting up.”

“I’m exhausted.” What I don’t tell him is how afraid I am to fall asleep. The nightmares are inevitable after what we found at my apartment.

“Then I’ll let you go. Promise me you’ll tell me if you need me?”

“I’ll only promise if you swear not to get on a plane without me asking you to.”

He laughs. “Fine. I promise.”

“Night, Matty.”

“Good night, Tills.”

We end our call, and I set my phone on the end table next to my bed. With my stomach in knots, I turn off the lamp to try to sleep. I hate that I lied to Matthew.

I need him more than ever.

But he’ll never be mine.

CHAPTER10

Tilly

Isnuggle further down into the couch, adjusting the position I’ve been sitting in for too long. Sergio huffs at my side, annoyed that I’m jostling him. I give him a pat on his fuzzy head and then turn back to my book. It’s one Matthew recommended, and I’m obsessed.

“I made you some tea,” Desmond says, holding out a gray mug.

I sit up in surprise. “Oh, thank you.” For the past two days, he’s been hovering over me. He had a home game last night, and the minute it was over, he came straight back to his apartment instead of going out to the bar with his teammates like he usually does.

I think my apartment being destroyed affected him more than it did me, which is saying a lot. I haven’t been able to sleep much the past few nights. I can’t get the image of the dripping red paint out of my head.

Desmond sits down on the other end of the couch. I can tell he wants to say something, so I wait him out. The silence stretches longer, and I want to laugh at how uncomfortable he seems. I don’t have a clue what he wants to say, but I have a guess it’s about my stalker.

“I don’t want you to move out of here,” he finally says. I open my mouth to dispute that, but he holds his hand up to stop me. “Let me finish first, then you can argue with me.”

I laugh and tip my head in acceptance.

“I want you to stay with me until this asshole is found. The building is secure. The only person allowed up here without my permission is you. And since I’m on the road half the time, it shouldn’t feel too crowded.”

I bite my lip to give him a second to finish his thought if he’s not done yet. When he just looks at me, I exhale a deep breath. “Des, I love you for wanting to protect me. I really do. But this is too much. We’ve both been living alone for years. It’s not going to be that easy to just go back to having a roommate again. We aren’t kids anymore. What happens when you want to bring a girl back here, and instead of having privacy, you’ll have me, standing in your kitchen with a tub of ice cream in one hand and a cat in the other, staring at you?” I raise my eyebrows at him.

He laughs like I thought he would, but then he grows serious. “I am capable of keeping my conquests on the down-low. And I haven’t brought anyone back here this whole week!”

I roll my eyes. “Congratulations on going an entire week without fucking a puck bunny.”

Desmond’s mouth turns down, and his eyes narrow. Apparently, he’s not as amused by my quip as I am.

“I hate the idea of you living alone. What if this guy finds you again?” he continues, ignoring my jab.

“I don’t know, Des. I’ve barely been able to think about the next few days. I’ve got a shoot tomorrow, and I’m struggling to gather the courage to go. I still have to sell my current apartment and then hunt for another one. In this city, it’ll be a miracle if I can find something decent without having to sell my firstborn child. I can’t make any of these types of decisions yet.”

“Which is all the more reason for you to stay here. I’ll take care of your apartment. I’ve already got people scheduled to clean it up and assess the damage.”

“Send me the bill for all of that, please.”

“Fuck, no. I know you make good money, but I will not have you pay for the choices someone else made.”

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