Page 59 of Catalyst

“It was close to a minute!” Nolan shouts, butting into the conversation.

Adam snorts. “Puh-lease. Matthew lasted a minute, maybe. You took one step, and Sara had you on the ground.”

“Whatever. I’m getting better. Right, sis?”

“You are. You last about five seconds now.” Sara winks at him.

“You can’t even last that long during se—” Matthew clears his throat and throws a glance at Noah, who is watching the fighting intently. “In the bedroom.”

The whole table erupts at his correction, except for Cindy. She frowns at Matthew in disappointment, but I can see her lips curling at the side as she tries to hold back her smile.

Nolan punches Matthew in the arm. “If there weren’t delicate ears here, I would defend myself. I have quite the prowess, I’ll have you know.”

“Anyone who uses the word prowess does not actually have it,” Carters says dryly, making everyone laugh.

“Do you wanna go? I’ll take you down right now, bro.” Nolan puffs out his chest.

“Okay, enough fighting at my table,” Cindy says. I’m a little surprised at how loud she was able to speak without yelling. Granted, the woman raised five children. I would think she’s mastered a lot of things that would surprise me.

“If they stopped fighting, no one would say anything at dinner.” Noah shoves another bite of mac ‘n’ cheese into his mouth as he looks around the table. His big blue eyes are heart-stopping. Natalie told me his adoption story, and it makes me sad to know he didn’t have anyone in his life to care for him, yet I’m simultaneously relieved that he has this huge family to take care of him now.

Everyone blinks at Noah and then bursts out laughing when we realize he wasn’t joking.

“You are right about that, kiddo. Now, who are you sharing your mac ‘n’ cheese with?” Steve asks him.

Noah looks around the table, his face serious as he takes in the whole group. Nolan has his hand in the air and is using one finger to point at himself.

When Noah’s eyes land on me, my eyebrows go up to my hairline.

“Ellie should have it. She needs it the most.” The way he’s looking at me makes it seem like he can see every bruise and scar on my heart.

I have to clear my throat before I can speak. “I would love some, Noah. Thank you.”

He grabs the spoon from the dish in front of him, and I hold my plate out for him to drop the scoop of food. The whole table is silent as they watch us until I set my plate back down in front of me and start eating what has to be the best mac ‘n’ cheese I’ve ever had.

“Thank you for sharing, Noah.” Natalie runs her fingers through his hair, and he looks up at her like she hung the moon and the stars just for him.

I look down at my plate, my eyes swimming with tears at the sight. I’ve never known a love like Natalie has for her son. Nor Cindy’s for her family. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would’ve been like to have had a mother who loved me, as these women love their families.

Adam’s hand squeezes my thigh, and it pulls me out of my melancholy. I look over at him and smile, grateful he brought me to meet his family. I understand him on a whole other level now than I ever would have before. These people are his home, his foundation, and without them, he wouldn’t be the man he is today.

But I guess that’s true for anyone. The people who raise us are the ones who shape us, and we can either let them force us into molds that don’t fit or use what they’ve taught us to create our own molds. I didn’t grow up with people who encouraged me to forge my own path. But that doesn’t mean I have to continue letting them dictate where that path leads me.

For so long, I’ve let my parents’ betrayal color what my next steps are. I felt like if I went back to school and finished my degree, they would win. I would finally have a respectable career they could be proud of, but I forgot why I wanted to be a designer in the first place.

Art is my passion. It’s what has always been mine alone. No matter what happened in my life, I could always count on my creativity to help me escape. To be fair to myself, after the assault, I needed the time away to heal. I needed to take that step back in order to find who I was again. What I never anticipated was giving up on my dream entirely. And I have. I stopped believing that art could still be my passion and my career.

That stops now. When I get home, I’m going to start researching graphic design schools and see what it will take to finish my degree.

CHAPTER28

Adam

“Can you tell me now?”Ellie asks from the passenger seat of my car. She’s wiggling around with a nervous energy that makes me shake my head. Matthew snorts. His long body is awkwardly smashed into the back seat. Ellie tried to get him to sit up front, but he refused, for whatever reason.

“Nope,” I respond.

“Well, I know we’re going to the airport.”

---