Page 8 of Pierce Me

I point to the person and I sing to them. The crowd goes wild, screaming at the top of their lungs, recording the clip of me pointing to the person with the sign as I sing, tears pouring down my cheeks. I turn my head slightly to Jude and nod, and he goes into another round of the bridge, the entire band following his lead seamlessly. Jude also has a microphone and he backs up the vocals, because I lose control of my voice for a second, but I jump right back in.

It’s not yet time to finish this.

And when you hate yourself

So much more

than you can ever like something else

Remember

I love you

I love you

I love you enough for yourself as well.

I sing the words to Teddy and to everyone else who needs them. My voice goes thick and full of emotion, and I don’t bother to hide it.

Someone else holds up a sign that says‘Isaiah you saved my life last June’and I suddenly pause singing. The crowd picks up where I left off, their voices a river carrying the melody away, while I read the fan’s sign again and again, the blood draining from my face. A boy in the fifth row screams at me that his friend died last Monday, took his own life. I gulp down tears and raise the microphone to my lips, lifting a hand to point to him.

I sing:

Well, I can tell you this

Your life is a diamond

Your tears are the stars

Your sky is the sun

Every single time I’ll pull you from the ledge

I won’t let you go

No, I won’t let you go

And when you hate yourself

So much more

than you can ever like something else

Remember

I love you

I love you

I love you enough for yourself as well.

The boy doesn't move the whole time. More people are lifting their phones, recording me singing to him, and others start screaming my name twice as loud as before. But it’s just the three of us, this boy, me and the music, completely still amid the storm and the chaos.

I sing it again to him, so that it sinks in:

And when you hate yourself

So much more

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