Page 114 of Pierce Me

“More songs? About you?”

“Yeah.”

I nod. “How many of my songs have you heard?”

She laughs wetly, shyly and looks away. “Are you kidding? All of them.”

“Oh,” I answer slowly, “all of them.”

“What? Are you just repeating what I said or are you…?”

“I’m answering your question,” I say calmly. I don’t know how I am so calm right now. How it’s possible. Maybe I’ve left my body again. Maybe I’ve died. “How may songs are about you? Well, one is about a friend of mine. Another about my brother.”

“Beethoven,” she says and I nod.

“All the rest are for you.”

“You…”

“I couldn’t even write a song about my dad,” I add. “I’ve only ever written about you, no matter how much I wanted to write about other things. I just wrote that song about my dad that night in Corfu, on the boat, after talking to you.” I look at the tears spilling down her cheeks—it’s like she’s forgotten they’re still falling. I haven’t. “It’s like now that you’re here, I’m finally free.”

“Free of me?”

I shrug. “Free to think about something else besides you. You’re all I’ve been thinking about for the past three years.”

“Four,” she corrects me. I said three on purpose, to see if she’s been counting. She has. “It’s been four years since I last saw you. Or a century, I’m not sure. Sometimes I lose count.”

Ok, this is it. I turn around, grab her wrist, and pull her behind me until we’re out in the open. The stadium is deserted now; we’re completely alone. Not even a guard on sight. Nothing around us but empty seats and the night. Eden holds her breath, her slender hand shaking like a leaf in my fingers. I’m hot all over as if I have a fever. I don’t even care if I’m sick or not. I can’t help myself.

If she still wants anything to do with me, I’ll just go for it. I don’t care how much of a fool I look. Forget pride. I’ll drop to my knees and beg her to take me back.

I stop and turn to face her, caging her between my arms.

“Eden,” I murmur and she looks scared. Dammit.This is not good. But she just said…Ok, I have to do this. For my sanity. I lean down over her, trying to peer into her eyes. “Look at me, please. Eden.”

She’s looking everywhere but at me. Her fingers are pale and shaking. She is terrified. Well, so am I, but here we are, both losing our minds. One of us has to be strong enough to put an end to this torture. I have to know for sure.

“Look at me.” It comes out as a rough whisper, the air struggling to get through to my chest. “It’s me.”

“Is it?”

I deflate.

“Please,” I turn away. “Like you haven’t changed.” I look at her hair pointedly–one of the most obvious changes on her. But there are more. So many more.

I can’t even count them.

Down goes her head again, and I bite a curse. No. That came out so much more bitter than I had meant it to. There is so much bitterness in me, it can’t help coming out.

“Why did you break up with me?” I ask her. This is it. The defining moment. The words we should have said to one another years ago.

They need to come out now.

They have to come out, even if they kill both of us.

I know they will kill me, no matter what they are.

Have I just lost four years with her? Or have I lost an entire life with her? My whole future, bleak and gray, without even the hope, the bitterness of wanting her.

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