Page 42 of This Is On You

We keep asking each other questions while we eat, and I can honestly say, I’ve never felt so at ease on a first date. I mentally roll my eyes at myself, Harrison and I are way past the first date, we’re actuallytogethernow.

The realization steals my breath for a second but I shake it off and reach for Harrison’s hand as I hear him tell me all about his children, his company, and anything that comes to mind.

THIRTEEN

Harrison

I wipemy mouth with the cloth napkin after taking my last bite of the seriously ridiculous chocolate cake. “So Iris had an idea and I wanted to talk to you about it.”

The scared look on his face has me snickering. “At least you already know you should always be scared of Iris’ ideas, but it’s nothing bad, I promise.”

“What is it?”

I don’t want to look at him while I tell him Iris’ suggestion, and since I already paid for our dinner, I get up and offer him a hand. I put his coat on him and start talking again as soon as we’re alone on the elevator on our way down. I hug him from behind and hide half my face in his curls.

“So she said I need a vacation basically, and she just gave me this idea that maybe I could go spend some time at the Hamptons house before Christmas.”

Tris tenses and remains silent. I don’t like it, and I feel this new need to… make him not be nervous? I honestly don't know. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. I start to get it all out so I can finally ask him to go with me.

“We used to spend every holiday out there, but when I bought the Kings we stopped because we wanted to be here for every game. This year is different because we have Mike as part of our family. He isn’t playing on Christmas, and his parents are coming down here on Friday and staying for a few days to see the game as well as celebrate Christmas. So Iris told me I should go and they’d drive up on Thursday for Christmas Eve, then we’d all come back Friday afternoon. And I want to, I want to go, disconnect for a few days, but I want you to come with me.”

We arrive at the ground floor as soon as I utter the last word and he still hasn’t said anything.Not even five seconds have passed, Jesus, relax.

I take a deep breath and try to do just that. Matt is already holding the door open for us when we step on the sidewalk and Tris still hasn’t said anything.

“If you don’t want—” I start.

“Shut up, I’m thinking,” he cuts me off then offers me his lips to soften me up.

“All right, but will you please tell me if you’re coming home with me tonight? I should tell Matt where we’re going.”

He stares at me for a long moment, and fuck I have to stop myself from fidgeting. I hate feeling like this. Like I’m dependent on someone else. It’s completely new and it has me unbalanced.

“I’d love to go home with you tonight.”

“Thank you, baby.” I give him another kiss and relax a little when the car starts moving.

“So you’re asking me to spend Christmas with you and your family. Did I understand that correctly?” he asks after a while.

“Yes.” I try to sound confident. Not sure I pull it off.

“Aren’t you worried it’s too soon for something like that?” My heart constricts.

I guess he’s not as enamored with me as I am with him. Fuck, I reallyreallyhate this. I don’t know what to say, every possibility that comes to mind sounds needy and whiny in my head. So in the end I only shrug.

“That’s not good enough, Harrison. You have to tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I want you there,” I say exasperated. “If it’s too much, too soon, well, then I don’t care because it doesn’t feel like it to me, but if it does to you then I won’t be mad or anything.”

I’d be crushed, but not mad.

“It doesn’t.” He turns my head so I’ll look at him. “I swear it doesn’t, but that’s what scares me. Harrison…” he whispers my name and trails off. And yeah, I get why he’s scared. I can also see it in his eyes.

“Baby,” I say just as softly. “I won’t hurt you.” Of that I’m absolutely sure, I don’t think Ican.

“I do want to go with you and spend Christmas with you.”

“Yeah?”

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