Page 16 of Teach Me To Sin

The petite woman winds up and punches my arm with her whole not-very-significant strength. “Of course we are, you asshole. If you’re going to break up with me, do it with some enthusiasm. I think your dick will thank you.”

When she swipes at me again, I catch her arm and pull her into one last, long hug. “You can have this place, and I’ll move in with Victor and Ethan until I find something.”

“Good god no,” she mumbles into my chest. “I hate the city. I’ll pack a bag and stay with my sister. I’ve been daydreaming about a cute place overlooking the water, maybe a cottage on Bainbridge Island?”

We sleep in the same bed one last time, cuddled together like breaking up destroyed the last barriers between us. When I wake up, morning light is spilling across the gauzy white comforter and I can hear Maya singing and packing in the other room. I hold my hands up in front of my face and inspect them, blunt fingernails and random sharpie marks from where I write notes on my palm. Right now, they feel like the only thing in my life that hasn’t changed beyond recognition in the course of just a few days.

My phone buzzes on the nightstand and I snag it by the charging cord, expecting to see Victor whining about why he got to work on time on the one day that I didn’t. Instead, it’s a selfie of Benji in a sleeveless top and backward hat, with sulky, tired eyes and a shaker bottle in his hand. He follows it immediately with a text.Nasty protein shake, shoulder workout, fuck you.

Fuck you too, I’m so proud. I can’t stop grinning like a fool.

Colson

“What do you think, girl?”I flip my phone around so the red and white borzoi draped over my lap can see the minimalist timber cottage nestled in a vast sea of gray-green grass. “Iceland? Lots of space for running. Maybe a bit cold?” She grunts like a dying pig and yawns, wrinkling her incredibly long snout. Her eyes drift shut again as she nuzzles her face further into the gap between my hip and the couch. “Too boring? Noted.”

Stroking her silky back, I relax into the cushions and flick open real estate listings in Italy and France. I can afford pretty much anything, but recently I’m feeling attracted to the idea of buying a derelict country house and hiring builders to restore it to my designs. I’d love somewhere tens of miles from any human civilization and hundreds of miles from anyone who speaks English.

That thought ironically causes my phone to ring in my hand.The Mopey Gray Giantis my contact name for my ex-husband, with his broad, six-foot-six frame and distinctly un-jolly attitude. Sometimes I feel guilty for making fun of him, but at this point taking the piss out of each other is the only common ground we have to build a friendship. “Ye–”

I don’t get to finish speaking before he bites my head off. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Huh?” Scrunching my eyes shut, I massage the bridge of my nose. “You tell me, because I have no idea.”

“Jonah found an envelope in the mail this morning with a four-figure check in it.”

“Oh, that. Get your kids something fun.”

“First of all,” he snaps, “I have plenty of money. I don’t need yours. Secondly, do you even know my children’s names?”

Shunting Triss gently off my lap, I stretch my half-asleep legs and pad to the kitchen to pour a finger of whiskey. Between this conversation and my date this evening, I need it. “Eli, and…um, Kelsey.”

“Kenzie.”

“What’s your point, Gray?”

The sound of kids giggling in the background fades, then I hear him shut a door. “I invited you to visit us for a week–meet my family, see the farm–because I thought we were trying to reconnect.”

“Well, I can’t come.” The alcohol burns my throat as I toss it back. “So I sent a gift instead.”

There’s a confounded pause, like I’m an idiot. “You’re completely missing the point. I’m tearing this up.”

“You’re right, I don’t get it. Money is helpful and makes people happy. My presence doesn’t do any of those things. So really, you’ve won out.”

His grim silence makes my joke sound a lot less funny. “You give me a headache,” he says finally.

“I can fix that in a second: stop calling me. When I heard about your wedding, I hunted you down and apologized because you deserved to hear it. You forgave me. That’s it. I don’t know why you’ve insisted on trying to make friends with your cheating ex.”

“You want to know why?” he asks quickly, his voice hard. I’m in for it now; I can tell he’s furious.

I don’t say anything, turning the glass slowly around in my fingers as I stare out the back window at a deer lingering on the edge of the woods.Please just give up on me. I can pretend I won’t miss you.

“I keep in touch because I feel fucking sorry for you,” he snaps. “Even though you were a toxic prick, you used to want so much from life. You dreamed big and fought for the things you wanted. Now you don’t even care enough to try. You need to get a fucking life, Cole.”

“Great. That’s nice,” I murmur, rubbing my palm across my eyes.

“I’m here if you want to connect, but don’t you dare try to send me money again. And learn the names of my damn kids.”

When Gray loses his temper, he gets pushy and overbearing. I just get spiteful. “Here’s a gift you might like better–I’m leaving the country in a month and I’m not coming back, so I’ll be out of your hair soon.” Before he can answer, I hang up on him. Spiteful me wants to delete his number, but I have so few contacts I can’t bring myself to erase one of them.

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