Page 63 of Teach Me To Sin

Right now, I don’t feel good at all. I’m sore and out of breath, sweating in places I didn’t know existed. I’m not drinking cocktails on my way to a dream house in the Italian countryside. The air around us is thick with trauma and huge, explosive emotions we don’t understand.

And yet.

If being in love means that the hurt you feel with them is better than the happiness you feel without them, then I’m afraid I might be well and truly lost. The kind of lost where no amount of running and breaking will ever turn me back into the man I was before.

When we get back to the car, I deposit Benji in the back seat while Alek cups his hands under a drinking fountain and lets the dogs lap water off his palms. He wipes them off on his shirt as he slides into the passenger seat, then carefully tucks his miniature bouquet on the dashboard where the blooms bounce gently as we drive.

Benji declares that Alek should pick our dinner cuisine, so he suggests Mexican because we saw one of those on the way over and we won’t need a map to find it. Within ten minutes, the tiny roadside restaurant has produced a quesadilla for Alek, an “everything” burrito that Benji made up, and an order of street tacos for me.

“I know we’re all starving,” I comment as we pull into the driveway of the vacation home. “But we look like we’ve been living in a cave for a month. I suggest showers first.”

Everyone seems relieved at the idea, so we put the food in the fridge temporarily and try to work out how to protect Benji’s cast from the water. Alek finds some packing tape in a desk drawer, and we use excessive amounts of it to secure the plastic bag from the takeout over Benji’s lower arm. The instruction sheets from the hospital say that the burns can be washed in clean water, so I carefully peel off his dressings while Alek disappears to his room.

“It’s looking good,” I comment, squeezing Benji’s unhurt shoulder. The red skin seems less angry than yesterday, and some of the blisters have died down. “At this miraculous rate we’ll be able to take your cast off tomorrow.” He rolls his eyes at me.

After I turn on the hot water in the massive walk-in shower, I hesitate in the doorway to the bedroom. Benji has managed to wrestle his shorts and boxers off with one hand. He stands naked in the middle of the master bedroom, his soft cock swaying when he shifts from one foot to the other. I work my tongue in my suddenly dry mouth, reacquainting my eyes with his gorgeous body. “Um… Call me if you need anything.” I’m trying to be respectful–this is all very confusing, and Alek isn’t here, and I want Benji to know that I’ll care for him without asking anything in return.

His nostrils flare as he studies my face. Slowly, he steps forward until our bodies are centimeters apart and I can feel his breath stir on my cheek. With a tiny groan, he rests his forehead against the base of my neck. “Hey.”

“Yes?” Savoring his flawless skin, I stroke my thumb down his arm.

“I need something.”

I smile a little against the top of his head. “What do you need?”

“I need Alek to be here, and I need all of us showering together.” He tilts his head up, so his untamable eyes are only a few inches from mine. “Can you do that for me, Mr. Nurse?”

When I shake my head andtsk, and he grins. “I must have missed the hospital handout that covered this shower protocol, but I’ll see what I can do.”

It’s hard to pry my body away from his smaller one, now that he’s awakened the desperate need to possess him again, but I force myself to step back and go in search of Alek. This morning, I don’t think he would have been ready for this. I’m hoping for everyone’s sake that our hike put him in a better place.

When I nudge open the door to his guest room, I find him standing in the middle of the floor with a sour look on his face. “I forgot to pack shampoo.”

“You’re welcome to use mine.” The thought of making him smell like me does nothing to calm down my increasing arousal.

Alek’s eyes snag on the crotch of my pants, which are starting to feel uncomfortably tight. He raises an eyebrow at me. “Um, hello. You seem to be having a little, uh, not so little issue.” The fucking sass–if Benji rubs off on him too much, I’m dead.

“The patient has suggested that his recovery would be faster if two other naked men join him in the shower.”

He blinks, caught off guard, then snorts. “Oh really?”

“I think he’s decided that thestarting overphase is finished and thepicking up where we left offphase is in full swing.”

His dark eyes search mine anxiously, then his shoulders sag like he’s releasing a knot of tension he’s been carrying for days. “I think… I think that sounds really good,” he sighs, his voice open and vulnerable for the first time. “What about you?”

Benji’s so aggressively physical that it’s easy to touch him all the time. Alek and I still aren’t sure how to approach each other on a level that primal. I open my arms in an awkward invitation, trying to make it clear that he doesn’t have to do anything, but he walks straight into my hug and squeezes me so hard it hurts as we rock slowly from side to side. “I think it sounds really good too,” I murmur.

“For the record,” he says, his voice muffled in my shoulder. “He’s not the only one who’s happy you came back. I just don’t know how to…”

“How to blurt out everything that crosses your mind in the most attention-grabbing way possible?” We both chuckle, and he hugs me even tighter for a moment before letting go. “Well I don’t know how to prance around in a Speedo and impress you with my swimming prowess, so I guess we’re even.”

Benji’s standing exactly where I left him. When we both come in holding hands, a slow, ecstatic smile spreads across his face and he trots away into the steam-filled bathroom. As we catch up and step under the scalding water together, he grabs a pale lavender bar of soap sitting on the inset shelf and holds it out to Alek. “I don’t know if Colson told you, but I’m very injured. I can’t wash myself.”

Alek glances down their wet bodies to the half-erection between Benji’s legs. “You don’t look very injured.”

Benji giggles, and I get to see the warmth on Alek’s face when he hears it, the same relief I felt yesterday. Pieces are slowly fitting back together, even if we don’t know what picture we’re making. Stepping forward, Alek catches Benji’s neck in a soft grip and kisses him, pushing his lips apart and sinking deep into his mouth. Benji moans and responds just as greedily until their mouths are fighting for control, tearing it away from each other and then stealing it back. When Benji surrenders with a gasp, I wrap my arms around him from behind and pin him against my chest, biting his neck when he struggles. “Go ahead and wash him up.”

Alek gets carefully to his knees on the white tile and lathers the soap with deliberate slowness up his legs, down his ass crack, along his taint, all over his cock. He kisses across Benji’s stomach while Benji’s long fingers tangle in his wet hair. I turn the boy’s head with my thumb and taste his mouth for myself.

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