Page 53 of Four Firemen For Christmas

I couldn’t tell if she needed reassurance or if she was trying to push away from Alex to save herself. “Alex has to take time and think about things before he makes big decisions. He didn’t choose lightly when he decided to stay last night. The only reason he left was because he needed to think without distractions. And you are one hell of a distraction.” I meant it in a good way, but Emma blanched and started to scoot back from the table.

“Talk to us, Emma.” Derek’s soulful eyes lit on Emma and held. The kid had depth, I’d give him that.

She huffed and covered her face with her hands. “I don’t understand why all this happened. Why did Alex get upset when I pointed out the obvious? You’re going to get tired of me. This is going to end.”

Each word was a punch in the gut. “That’s not what the rest of us are thinking. I know I’m not.” I grasped one of her hands and Derek took the other. “I’m sitting here trying to figure out how to keep you around longer.”

“What do you mean?” That spark of passion that I’d seen in her from the beginning lit up. She turned from uncertain to determined in a matter of seconds. “You want to keep me around?”

“Yes, Emma. I want to keep you around. In fact, I needed to talk to you about something.” The pressure of her hand in mine kept me grounded and focused on the problem. “Our relationship is a threat to my job. Not just that, but my entire career and my reputation. You work for me, and that complicates things.”

She processed my words, her mouth puckering and her brows drawing together.

“It’s a shit question, but I hoped you’d be willing to look for another job after Christmas, so the threat of exposure isn’t as great.” I made sure to frame everything so that she didn’t feel like I was pushing her away. She had every right to make her own decisions as long as I put all the cards out on the table.

Derek was still there. His presence helped create an easy atmosphere. There were times when I thought he didn’t take anything seriously, but seeing him with Emma showed me a whole new side to him.

Emma pulled her hands away from each of us and put them in her lap. Her eyes blazed with a mix of anger and hurt as she fixed her gaze on me. “You want me to find another job?” Her offended tone jerked a knot in my heart.

The heavy words hung in the air already weighted with tension that knotted my shoulders.

“So, it was okay for me to work with you and fuck you in your office, but it's not okay now?” Her voice crackled, accusing me.

“It wasn’t like that.” I swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words. “I've been worried about it since the first day we worked together,” I admitted, my voice regretful. The scent of bacon and eggs lingering in the air turned my stomach. The contrast of being happy half an hour ago and feeling the ground shift beneath my feet kept me from being able to eat.

Emma stood and paced back and forth across the kitchen, her steps filled with restless energy. She nibbled on her thumbnail and shook her head. “This is messed up,” she muttered. An annoyed huff slipped past her lips as she tried to make sense of it all. “I get why you're asking me to find another job. It's perfectly logical. But there's a part of me that is completely pissed and feels used.”

I leaped to my feet, as did Derek, and crossed to her. I ached to be closer, to offer comfort or support, should she want it. We let her keep moving, giving her space to express her feelings and frustrations. In this tumultuous moment, all we wanted was to be there for her. Even if she couldn’t stand to look at me.

“Emma, will you look at me?” My dominating nature wanted to demand her attention. I kept those tendencies under control.

Seconds stretched into minutes as Emma continued to pace, the room echoing with the sound of her footsteps and the heavy weight of unspoken words mingled with her refusal to look at me. Derek and I exchanged glances. Concern and understanding flashed in his eyes. This was a pivotal moment. One that could redefine our relationships and futures.

Emma finally paused, her back to us, her shoulders tense. Her voice wavered, “I thought… I thought we had something special, something more than just work. I thought…” Her voice trailed off.

I took a step closer and held out my hand. “We do have something special. That's why this is so difficult. I don't want you to think you're just another employee.”

Derek nodded, his eyes locked onto Emma's form. “We care about you,” he added, his voice steady and gentle. “This isn't about dismissing you or using you. It's about protecting all of us.”

Emma turned, her eyes glistening. She seemed torn between anger and sadness. “Well, I did say that this had to end sometime. Maybe we call it quits before things get any worse.”

“No.” I couldn’t fathom that. Not when I was finally at a place where I’d met a woman who understood me. “That’s not what I want Emma.”

“Me either,” Derek added.

“And if it’s what I want?” The tears in her eyes finally fell. “I can’t fall in love with all of you, just for you to come to your senses in a year or even in a month and say that you’re done. It’s not fair to me or to any of you.”

Damn. She was admitting to already having feelings for us. For all of us. I should be happy, but all I could think about was the complications of having her at the station.

My phone rang, the shrill tune dragging my gaze away from Emma. I almost ignored it, but I recognized the ringtone. District Chief Miles. Why was my superior calling me on my day off? Nothing good could come from this.

“We’ll continue this discussion in a minute.” I took my phone from the counter and answered. “Henry here.”

“Henry, it’s Miles.”

I nodded and turned my back on Emma and Derek, who was comforting Emma with an arm over her shoulders. He whispered in her ear and she smiled weakly. Good. Maybe we’d work this out after all.

“We have a situation. I need you to come in.” Miles’s voice held a note of anger and weary resignation that I didn’t understand.

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