Page 59 of Four Firemen For Christmas

She opened it with a wide smile and scooped me into a hug. “Emma, honey. I’m so glad you came by.” She leaned back and patted my cheeks, then spotted the duffel at my feet. “Uh-oh. That’s not a good sign. And that frown…” She tsked and ushered me inside. “Come tell me what happened.”

The homey comfort of her kitchen eased the hot coil in my stomach. I sank into a kitchen chair and kicked my duffel under the table. “I never should have agreed to stay in their apartment.” I sniffed back another surge of tears and covered my face with my hands. “I made a mess of everything.”

“Oh, I doubt that.” She puttered around the kitchen. The sounds of her making tea were so familiar that I didn’t have to look to know exactly what she was doing.

I crossed my arms on the table and rested my forehead on them. “You’d be wrong this time, Grandma.” I chewed my lip. How much did I tell her? We’d shared everything so far. There wasn’t really a reason to hold back now.

I told her everything. From sex in Henry’s office to last night—minus the specific details, though she tried to pry them out of me—and all the way through today’s accusations. “Derek tried to defend me, but he was the only one. I couldn’t let it tear them apart.”

She stirred her tea, then pushed mine into my hands. I’d already down two cups while talking, but the rawness in my throat demanded another, with an extra dose of honey.

“People often jump to conclusions. They’re hurting and they lash out. It rarely has anything to do with the person being accused.” She rubbed the back of my hand. “But that doesn't excuse Alex being a hotheaded bastard.”

I barked out a laugh. “No, it doesn’t.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?” Grandma didn’t give up easily. She’d taught me to fight for what I wanted. I wanted this, but were the risks worth it? It could all keep blowing up in my face.

My phone pinged and I checked it a little too eagerly for my own liking as a hopeful burst popped in my chest. The bubble worked up into my throat when I realized the notification was from my menstrual cycle app. It was asking if I wanted to record my menstrual cycle for the month, noting that I was five days later than normal. Every cell in my body locked down. The phone clattered to the table.

Grandma eyed it with raised eyebrows but didn’t ask any questions.

I backtracked through the dates. Three weeks. I’d had sex with Derek, then Henry, just over three weeks ago. I should have gotten my period last week. A knot formed in my throat, and I dragged my phone back into my shaking hands. I tried to type out the question in my search bar, but I kept messing it up. Finally, I looked across the table at Grandma. “I think I might be pregnant.”

She blinked. “Okay. The drug store down the street is still open. Why don’t you run down there and get a test? They’ll close in a few hours and won’t reopen until after Christmas.”

No. It couldn’t be possible. I wanted to fight the knowledge back, refuse to acknowledge the possibility. But I couldn’t. I had to know. “I’ll be back.” I left in a flurry of footsteps and jogged the full block to the old grocery store on the corner. I used to come here with Grandma as a kid. The old man behind the counter used to give me peppermints every time I came in. He looked up and smiled at me. “Well, if it isn’t Emma. You come to see your grandma for Christmas?”

I nodded and managed a smile. “I did, Bert. How’s your wife and the grandkids? Have they come down yet?” Bert’s kids had moved a hundred miles away years ago, but they always came back for the holidays.

“Oh, yeah. Got in three days ago. Looking forward to shutting down in a few hours.” He patted the counter with a gnarled hand. “What can I get for you?”

The shop had little more than the basics, but the thing I needed was camping out behind the counter. Not that I’d be able to sneak out without Bert knowing what I needed since he didn’t believe in self-checkout and every purchase went through under his keen eye.

“I need a pregnancy test.” I kept my tone level and my expression placid.

Bert was a great old guy, but I had no interest in discussing this with him.

“Better make it a couple,” I added when he pulled one off the rack. One might not be enough. I wanted the reassurance of multiple negative tests to prove it to myself.

“You bet.” He took three off the hook and passed them to me. “Those be okay? Got a deal going on them this week. Buy two get one free.”

“Yeah, sure. Looks good.” I tried not to panic at the white boxes laying there accusing me with their little positive signs. I couldn’t be pregnant. My period had always been regular, but missing it this once didn’t mean I was pregnant. I wanted kids. But not when I didn’t know who the father was, or if that man even wanted anything to do with me. If I’d known this a few days ago, last night would have gone in a completely different direction. Maybe it would have ended in the same place. Maybe they wouldn’t care that I was pregnant.

Bert rang up the tests and put them in a plastic bag while I paid.

“Good luck.” He smiled and waved.

I did my best to return both on my way out the door with the bag clutched tight in my hand. I ran as fast as I could back to Grandma’s and burst into her kitchen.

She looked up from the sink, her eyes wide. “Lord, you scared the tea right outta me, girl.” She popped a dishtowel in my direction. “Go on. Might as well find out now. No sense in waiting.”

She almost seemed happy about this turn of events.

I was too panicked to know how I felt. I abandoned her in the kitchen, ripping open a box and reading the instructions on my way to the bathroom. I banged into the doorframe and staggered to a stop. I’d always abhorred her bathroom with its frilly pink toilet cover and matching pink shower curtain. Today the color took on a new meaning. Pink or blue? Plus or minus. What did I want? The idea of a baby secretly thrilled me, but I wanted the father figure to go with the bundle of joy. I wasn’t opposed to being a single mother. My mother never complained about my dad not being around, but I’d always felt like something was missing in my life without that male presence.

Not that I’d ever tell her that. Not when she’d given up so much to make my life the best that she could.

I sank onto the toilet and read the instructions twice before I followed them and set the test on the sink. I couldn’t sit here and wait for the answer. If I did, I’d drive myself crazy waiting on that tiny symbol. Everything rested on the result of my ten-dollar test.

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