Page 79 of The Space Between Your Heart & Mine

“Can I ask why you hid it from Remi? I mean, you said you kept it a secret from everyone. Why?”

“I think a part of me was ashamed. Sutton was a bit of a womanizer back then. That, and Remi had always felt second to Sutton, and on many occasions had expressed his distaste for his brother. I was scared he wouldn’t be able to forgive me for what I knew he would see as a betrayal. Like he had lost yet another thing to a brother who always seemed to get everything.”

“And did he? Feel that way, I mean?”

“I think maybe you should ask him about that,” she says almost apologetically.

Again, her response gives me pause. Almost as if she’s only telling me half-truths, but I have no idea why that would be.

“But he forgave you, obviously.” I switch angles.

“He did. It took a while, but eventually, we found our new normal again.”

“Can I ask you something?” I continue when she nods. “Did you never see Remi that way? I know you said you believed Sutton was the one the first time you saw him, but you and Remi have been close for most of your lives. Was there never a point that you thought maybehewas the one?”

“I won’t lie and say I didn’t consider it, but no. At the end of the day, I just didn’t love him that way.”

“But did he?” I don’t know where the question comes from, but I have a sneaking suspicion that maybe I know why she seems to be skipping over some crucial details. Because she knows I won’t like the answer.

And she’d be right in that assumption.

I know she’s happily married to Remi’s brother and that the two of them will never be together, but that doesn’t mean the thought of being second pick to a woman who is a very large part of his life wouldn’t feel like a huge pair of scissors to the already too-thin thread I’m balancing on.

“Did he say something to you?” Her next question all but confirms my suspicions, my stomach coiling at the realization.

“No.” I shake my head softly.

“You really should talk to Remi.”

“I’m talking to you,” I tell her bluntly. “So tell me what I know you’ve been trying to dance around and just get it out in the open. Is the reason why Remi had a problem with you and his brother being together because he was in love with you himself?”

Indecision swims through her eyes. I can tell she wants to say it, but she’s also not sure if she should.

In all these weeks, I hadn’t even considered this as a possibility, but now it seems so obvious that I honestly don’t know how I missed it.

“Yes.” She’s quick to continue. “And no. It really is quite complicated.” She blows out a hard breath. “Remi caught Sutton and me together in my apartment one night. He left. I went after him. That’s when he admitted to being in love with me. He said he hadn’t made a move because he was waiting for me to be ready. I had a pretty rough childhood, and as such, I wasn’t that open to relationships. Remi thought what I needed was time, when in reality, what I needed was Sutton.”

“So what happened? You said you two were never together.” I remind her of an earlier conversation we shared.

“We weren’t. After Remi found out, he gave me an ultimatum. Him or Sutton. I chose him, even though it killed me to do so. We did kiss a couple of times after things ended with Sutton, but that’s all. I was trying to convince myself that I could love Remi that way because the thought of hurting him further was too much to bear. But in the end, he knew it. He knew my heart wasn’t in it. And Remi being Remi, what does he do? He brings Sutton back into my life. He accepts our relationship even though I know it gutted him to do so. And he loved both of us in spite of it all. When I say he’s an incredible guy, I mean it. Because no one but him could have made such a sacrifice.” Unshed tears fill her eyes. “He doesn’t love me, Kaia. Not like that. It’s been years since this happened. Trust me, if he had even an inkling of feelings for me, my husband wouldn’t let him walk through the front door, let alone hang out at my house all day while he’s at work.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this in the beginning?”

“Because it’s irrelevant.”

“If it was irrelevant, you wouldn’t have hidden it from me. It’s been weeks, and neither of you has said anything.”

“You have to understand, it’s not an easy thing to tell people. I was in love with one brother. The other was in love with me. Around and around we went in this weird triangle. How do you easily explain that to someone you’ve only just met?”

“It doesn’t excuse the lie.” There’s no anger in my words. Irritation and uncertainty, but not anger.

“I never lied to you.”

“Lying by omission is still lying. You should have told me. You should have given me all the information before you let me get in too deep to do anything about it. So now what? I’m just supposed to pretend like I don’t know? I’m supposed to act like every time we’re all together that I’m not worried that he’s secretly wishing he were with you and not me?”

“Kaia, no. I swear, it isn’t like that.” Panic floods her expression.

“How do you know?” I voice myrealconcern. “He hid the fact that he was in love with you before. How do you know he’s not still hiding it?”

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