Page 10 of Under the Christmas Tree

“Oh my god. You’re so far gone. It’s actually sad at this point.”

Maggie stared at her. There was something especially brutal about hearing that from your oldest friend.

Mariana reached across the table to put her hand on top of Maggie's. “I love you, but this is getting ridiculous. Katie is wonderful and friendly and whatever other compliments you need me to give her. But you’ve been in love with her for ages now and the woman doesn’t have a clue. I’m pretty sure she’s in love with you too, but she’s a damn fool and doesn’t realize it. So. It’s Christmas. And you don’t need to spend another one mooning over her, being sad. Do yourself a favor and tell her. And we’ll all be absolutely delighted to attend the wedding and give extensive speeches about how we’re all glad the oblivious pining is finally over.”

“Please don’t do that at my wedding.”

Mariana hummed through a sip of her coffee. “No can do. Maid of honor privileges. I support you through this tragic, painful part of your life, and I get to say whatever I want at your wedding.”

“Mariana…”

She laughed. “Relax. I’m kidding. I would never embarrass you on the world stage like that. You’ve seen me pushing humans from my body. You think I’m jeopardizing that?”

Maggie smiled softly. Mariana was blunt, perhaps, but she was a really great friend.

“I’m just saying, it’s time,” Mariana watched her seriously.

Maggie thought it through, not for the first time.

It wasn’t like she didn’t want to, but it wasKatie. Even Mariana didn’t get her the way Katie did, and Maggie loved Mariana with her whole heart. But Katie was… different.

Sure, if Maggie told her and it went badly, Katie would probably be lovely and polite about it, but it would still have happened, and there would be no taking it back. No matter how they tried, or how they promised it wouldn’t change things, they’d never be able to go back to the minute before Maggie said anything. And everything would always be different. She didn’t want that.

Not to mention Katie’s longtime insistence that she didn’t want, nor did she have time for, a relationship. Maggie didn’t need to meet Irene Smith to know she was hugely invested in trying to get her daughter a partner. And Katie didn’t need to say it out loud for Maggie to know Katie needed her independence in this matter. She needed not to just do the thing her mom had always been telling her she needed. Maggie wasn’t going to be the person to ruin that for her.

She frowned. “Have you been talking to Rea?”

Mariana looked at her in confusion. “Katie’s friend? No? Why would I be?Howwould I be?”

Maggie gulped. It had felt right when she asked. Now, she wished she hadn’t said anything. “She just… uh, she… well, she said something similar yesterday.”

Mariana’s eyes lit up. “Did she now? How very interesting.”

Maggie felt her whole face and her ears burning, and she was certain it had nothing to do with having come in from the cold this time. This was the kind of burning that only came from shame. The kind of shame that came from realizing that basically every person in her life knew she was in love with Katie, except the most relevant person. “Um. Yeah.”

Mariana waved a hand, gesturing for her to continue talking. “What’d she say?”

Maggie winced. She really wished she hadn’t brought this up.

Couldn’t she just go back to Katie’s oversized couch, seven soft blankets, and a shared cup of coffee? She’d liked life better back then.

She cleared her throat, avoiding Mariana’s gaze as she attempted to return her face to its normal color. “Just something about, um, Katie being my… Christmas present this year. And well, a lot of the same things you said about Katie being weirdly oblivious for someone so smart. But, it’s not that. She’s got a lot of important things in her head. Life-saving information and things to do. And she’s busy, you know?”

“None of that stops her from being oblivious, so I’m not really sure what your point is.”

Maggie sighed. “I guess… I don’t really have one except that it’s not Katie’s fault.”

“Right, and, despite the fact that the rest of us clearly know what’s going on, and she’s been unconscionably oblivious not seeing it, we can all forgive that so long as she figures it out when you tell her.”

“I’m not telling her anything.”

“Oh, you definitely are, because you can’t spend your life like this. And I know you don’t want to.” She drained her mug before looking directly at Maggie. “I’ve known you long enough to remember you, nineteen and drunk on life in the city, all that freedom and adventure. And I remember you telling me that you wanted the kind of relationship that felt like being in love with your best friend.”

“I… didn’t know you remembered that.” Maggie shifted in her seat, struggling to hold Mariana’s gaze.

“Of course I do. That was you. No filters, no worries, nothing. Just you. And I swore to myself back then, that if you ever had that and something was in the way, I’d do everything in my power to help you keep it.” She shrugged slightly. “Admittedly, I didn’t think it was going to go down quite like this, but, if what you want is a workaholic doctor, who can’t see how blatantly in love you are, then that’s what you shall have.”

“She does important work and she takes it seriously. I doubt you’d have wanted the team delivering Joaquín or Andrés to be distracted and unserious.”

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