Page 29 of Hidden Shadows
“Because she didn’t care. Even before my father died, my mother was a serial dater. She cared more about her latest boyfriends than she ever did about me. Not that any of those boyfriends lasted. She was very good at getting a man but terrible at keeping him.”
“Why did they never stay?”
“Because it never took long for her less desirable traits to come out. She was possessive. Jealous. She’d start talking about a ring after a month. I think her longest relationship was…” Finley wrinkled her nose in thought. “Six months, maybe? And man, I felt sorry for him. He really liked her, but she made his life hell until he finally couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “A lot of kids had it worse than me. And I was lucky because I had Andi. Her family started filling the gaps. Birthdays. Christmases. And when I got Andi, I got Nate too. They were close in age, so he became like a brother.”
“Not Erik, though?” Nixon knew about Nate’s older brother, who’d been a Marine, although his friend didn’t talk about Erik very often.
The corners of Finley’s mouth turned down. “Erik’s a bit older than me, so I never got to know him that well. Then eight years ago, he lost…a lot. He’s been really hard to reach since then. But he just moved back to Redwood and is reconnecting with his family. From what Andi’s told me, his new neighbor is having quite the effect on him.”
He chuckled. “A good woman can do that to a man.”
Her smile softened. “You should do that more often.”
“What?”
“Laugh. It looks good on you.”
He sipped his beer. At this point, he’d probably plaster a smile on his face all goddamn day if the woman asked him to. Especially after what he’d done this afternoon.
Fuck, he still wanted to kick his own ass for shoving her to the ground so hastily. It was his fault she’d been hurt. His fault she’d been in her room, upset, with a huge gash on her arm. And he was pretty sure if he hadn’t walked in when he had, she’d never have told him about it.
What did that say about him? About the way he’d been making her feel?
“So, what about you?” she asked, taking another sip of eggnog. “Is your family as tragic as mine?”
He knew she’d been going for a joke, but he couldn’t stop the violent twist of his gut at the question. “I don’t celebrate the holidays with my parents either.”
She frowned. “How come?”
“When my older sister was eighteen, she was killed,” he said bluntly. “As a family, you don’t come back from that.”
The color drained from Finley’s face. “Oh my God. I’m so sorry.”
He wasn’t sure why he’d told her. He’d never toldanyoneexcept his SEAL brothers and Jacob.
Bile churned in his gut at the memory. “It was a long time ago.” But as he’d learned, time didn’t heal all wounds. It allowed you a few moments of reprieve every so often, when you could almost forget. But the pain always returned.
“How old were you?” she asked quietly.
“Sixteen. Our parents were out, and I was in my room when it happened.”
If possible, her face went even whiter. Shit, he needed to stop talking. But for some reason, Finley made him want to share everything. To expose all the broken bits that were his life.
“Nixon…that would have been…” She didn’t finish. Maybe because there were no fucking words for what it was. Torture. Hell. A nightmare he could never wake up from. “Did they find her…killer?”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah. The guy was her high school boyfriend. He couldn’t handle it when she broke up with him. He began to stalk her. No one took it as seriously as they should have. When he entered the house, I had my headphones on and had no idea what was happening until it was too late.”
Visible tears gathered in Finley’s eyes. She reached over and laid a hand on top of his. “I’m so sorry. About everything. That your childhood was taken away too early. That you lost someone you loved. And that your family fell apart because of it.”
Usually, sympathy made his skin crawl. And when that sympathy was accompanied by any form of touch, he ran from it. Because it burned him. Cut at his flesh. But right now, Finley’s hand on his felt like the only thing keeping the demons inside him at bay. The only thing keeping him here and whole.
When her hand began to pull away, he turned his over and slipped his fingers around hers. Her eyes widened just a fraction, but she didn’t say anything. And that silence, the way her fingers wrapped around his hand to hold him back…it was comfortable.
It was only the waitress setting their meals in front of them that had him releasing her and her moving back. But, fuck, that loss felt heavy. And all he wanted to do was pull her back in again.
