Page 41 of Hidden Shadows
She swallowed, her chest heaving on a breath, then she slipped her small, delicate hand into his. “Okay.”
The second he was touching her, a weight lifted from his chest.
He led her out to the dance floor, right beside the elderly couple, and pulled her against him, an arm sliding around her waist, the other clasping her hand. They were so close that she was all he could feel. He wanted to fucking bathe in her. To pause this moment and keep her here forever. There were so many lines he was crossing on this trip, but at some point, he’d stopped caring.This womanmade him stop caring about anything but her.
“I’m glad it was you,” she said softly.
Nixon frowned, gaze colliding with her brown eyes. “What?”
“I’m glad it was you—the person Nate hired.”
The idea of anyone else protecting her, being where he was now, made a wildfire of jealousy spread through his veins. No. It was him. Only him.
She smoothed a crease on the material of his shirt. “Can I ask you something?”
His chest tightened, and he had no idea why. Maybe because of the hesitation in her voice or the way she looked at him like she was stripping him bare and seeing every crevice of his soul. “Sure.”
“It was Christmas when it happened, wasn’t it?”
For a moment, Nixon’s world blackened, and he had to remind himself to breathe. To cycle air in and out of his chest. The only thing that kept him upright, the only thing that kept him moving, was her. The way her thumb grazed the back of his hand. The way her eyes bore into his.
“Yes.” One word that held so much pain. One word that crushed him. “It was Christmas morning. My parents had gone to pick up my grandparents from the airport. Amy and I wanted to stay home. I was in my room, playing a new video game I’d gotten that morning. The music playing through my headphones was loud.”
Agony cut across Finley’s features, and tears built in her eyes. “Oh, Nixon… I’m so sorry.”
“I was there,” he whispered. “But I didn’t save her.”
“You didn’t know sheneededsaving. And you were a child. It wasn’t your job.”
He wanted to believe her. Fuck, he wanted her words, her touch, to seep inside him and heal every wound he’d ever had.
Like she heard his thoughts, she pulled her hand out of his and brought it up to cup his cheek. “You’ve been fighting evil your entire adult life to try to make up for the past. But it won’t change anything. The healing needs to happeninsideyou. You need to forgive yourself.”
“How?” The word was thick and gravelly. “How do you forgive yourself when there’s no refuge from the pain?”
She swallowed. “You remind yourself every day that you were a child, that there was nothing you could have done, and you grant yourself peace. You remind yourself that you are a good person and that you’ll be okay.”
Her words cut to the bone. How did she do that? Dig so deeply inside him and find a way to crumble the walls that had been built so long ago? Walls meant to keep people out and the pain in.
“When I’m with you, I feel like Imightjust be okay.” They were words from somewhere deep inside him, and they fell out into the air like small explosives.
Her hand curved into his hair, a small smile turning her lips. “Good. Then I’d better not leave.”
The idea of this woman leaving him…it made him tighten his hand on her waist and tug her that bit closer. “No. You’d better not.”
CHAPTER14
Finley inched closer to Nixon. It was busy today, and even though they’d only come for a short amount of time to get a bit of footage, all she wanted to do was go back to the resort. Spend more time alone with Nixon.
They hadn’t spoken about what would happen when this trip was over. Sure, he’d said he didn’t want to leave her while they’d danced last night, but there were no concrete plans in place.
She wanted to speak to him about it. Hell, when she’d been in his arms last night, those very words had been crawling up her throat, clawing to break free.
But fear had kept them inside her. Fear that she’d push him away with her eagerness. Lose him. But if she didn’t ask, she’d never know.
He’d been different today. Quieter, but also…softer. His hand had barely left the small of her back, and she’d felt the soothing rub of his thumb more than once.
She cleared her throat, peeking up at him. “Are you looking forward to going back to Seattle?”
