Page 30 of Midnight Sanctuary

He was the one who forced me to stay for dinner that night. As far as I was concerned, I’d have happily run back to my tiny little home and buried my head in the sand for the rest of time.

Part of me wants to get mad.Heinsisted I stay.Hebandaged my leg.Heswept all the plates off the table and devoured me like I was his last meal.

But I could have resisted, right? I could’ve said no at any point and I know beyond any doubt he would’ve stopped instantly.

Nothing was forced. It was something I did becauseIwanted to.

I sigh and let my face fall onto my crossed arms on the countertop. “I should have just forgotten about the package. Written it off. I should never have hopped that godforsaken fence.”

“Coulda, woulda, shoulda,” Nikolai says with a shrug. “There’s no point going down that road, Alyssa. It’ll only drive you insane.”

I push my half-eaten danish away. As delicious as they are, I can’t force down another bite.

“How are you feeling?” asks Nikolai as he eyes me warily.

It’s nice of him to inquire, but there’s a small, bitter part of me that wishes that it was Uri who was doing the asking instead. “Miserable, most of the time,” I admit. “I think I spend every other second thinking about Polly, wondering where she is. If she’s safe. If she’s afraid. If she’s alone.” My breath catches and I bite down on my bottom lip. “I just wish I could remember something that might help. I keep wracking my brain, trying to jog my memory, but it feels like the more I try to remember, the hazier the memories become.”

“I wouldn’t push yourself that far. Just… let things relax. Maybe it’ll come back naturally if you don’t force it.”

I meet his eyes. “Polly doesn’t have that kind of time, Nikolai. She could already have been purchased by now. Every day I don’t remember is another day she’s suffering.”

My chest is so heavy that, despite all the medication I’m taking to prevent nausea, I feel like I need to throw up.

“Can I make a suggestion? What if you were to talk to someone?”

I frown. “Like… you?”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Like a professional. Therapy could help you focus, give you enough clarity that you might be able to uncover something that might help us.” When I start to protest, he holds up a hand again. “There’s no risk in trying. Even if you don’t succeed in remembering anything, it might help you cope with everything you’re dealing with.”

I bite my bottom lip. “You think Uri will allow it?”

Nikolai’s eyes narrow as he gets to his feet. “Leave that part to me.”

He’s heading to the door when I stop him. I know it’s a long shot but I’ve got to at least ask. I’ve been trapped down here so long that even my skin has started to feel unhealthy. It’s taken on this weird sallow tinge in the last day that I really don’t like.

“Nikolai? Can you do me a favor?”

Immediately, his face pinches up. “That depends on the favor.”

“Can you convince Uri to let me out of the basement for at least a few hours every day? Just to get some sunlight, maybe a walk around the grounds? It would be good for the babies.”

Nikolai’s sigh betrays nothing. The Bugrov brothers really have the whole inscrutable thing down to a science.

“I’ll ask him,” Nikolai says at last. “But no promises, okay?”

I sigh. “There never are.”

14

URI

I’m busy pouring over fresh leads that look a lot more like dead ends when Nikolai sweeps in.

“Don’t you knock?” I ask impatiently.

Nikolai gives me the look he gets every time he’s trying to “manage” me. Eyebrows pulled taut with his lips all pursed up like a teenage girl. “Listen, I want to talk to you about some—”

Ring. Ring. Ring.

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