Page 15 of Midnight Sanctuary

Her eyes veer to the door. “Ma’am…”

“Himorhis brother. No one. If they know, I… I just can’t deal with that right now.”

The doctor’s eyes soften with compassion. “You’ve been through a lot recently. The drugs that you were given will make your memory of the last few days patchy. Some memories might come back; some you may lose forever.”

If it weren’t for Polly, I wouldn’t mind losing the whole damn week. I swallow down the bitter taste of incoming tears. “What are you trying to say?”

“I’m saying you need support, Alyssa. You need to be looked after.Especiallyif you’re pregnant.”

“Uri doesn’t want to look after me,” I whisper in a small voice. “He hates me.”

I have no idea why I’m telling the doctor all this. She’s a virtual stranger and I have no reason to trust her. Especially since Nikolai mentioned that she is the Bratva doctor. If she’s loyal to anyone, it’s them, not me. But there’s something about her dark brown eyes and soft smile that’s loosening my tongue.

It may also have something to do with the fact that she’s the first person to look at me with any kind of compassion since I was taken.

The only exception is when Uri saved me from Boris’s underground cell. For one brief, beautiful moment, he held me like I meant something to him. He kissed me like he cared. But it ended so fast that I wonder if the whole thing was a drug-fueled hallucination.

“He doesn’t hate you.”

I focus my attention back on the petite brown-haired woman. “You don’t know Uri Bugrov very well, do you?”

She smiles. “Would you believe that I used to babysit him and his brother? My father was the doctor for the Bugrov Bratva before me. After he retired, I took his position.” Emily winks and pats the back of my hand reassuringly. “I’ve known Uri for a very long time, Alyssa. He may come off as cold, but he’s not a cold person. Not in the ways that matter.”

I shake my head. “Maybe not. But he has reason to be cold with me. I’m the reason Polly’s gone. I’m the reason she’s in danger.”

Emily folds my fingers in hers. “Stress is not good for the baby, Alyssa. You need to be kinder to yourself.”

“How can I be, when Polly’s still in danger? I’ve been trying to wrack my brains the last two days, trying to remember what happened. They were… I think they were speaking in Russian. They mentioned something but I couldn’t understand. I couldn’t… I couldn’t…”

“Hey now. Take a deep breath.”

Sometimes, it feels like my whole damn life has been a series of deep breaths. When do I get to the part where I can just breathe easy and it doesn’t take effort or thought or pain?

“Uri and Nikolai will find Polly. They’ll make this right.”

“Ineed to make it right,” I sob. “This is all my fault.” I cover my face with my hands and cry into my palms. I can taste the salt of my own tears.

“Alyssa, look at me.” It’s hard not to be drawn in by the kindness in her voice. I lift my watery eyes to hers. “You’re going to be okay and so is your baby. I’m not going to tell anyone that you’re pregnant.”

My eyes go wide. “You aren’t?”

“I’m not.” She shakes her head. “I’m hoping thatyouwill tell Uri soon, though. I assume he’s the father?”

I swallow. “H-how did you know?”

“Just a feeling I got when he told me about you. That and the way you speak about him. There’s obviously something there.”

“Yeah. Hurt, anger, and resentment. And a lot of hate.”

Emily gives me a small smile. “You’d be surprised at how close together love and hate can travel.”

Love?What a joke.

Love?No way.

Love?!Get fucking real.

I’m so stunned by the ridiculousness of the word that I don’t even attempt to deny it as Emily gets to her feet and starts gathering together all her medical equipment. “I’ll leave you with some prenatal vitamins. I need you to take them every day. And eat well. Lots of water and vegetables. Get your rest, too. I understand that you’re worried about Polly, but you need to take care of yourself and this baby. If you don’t… I’m gonna have to break my promise and tell Uri myself. Is that clear?”

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