Page 104 of Midnight Sanctuary

Oh, that’s right… Ziva’s not here. Ziva’s not anywhere anymore.

It’s just me.

It used to be that I’d wake up forgetting that she was gone and that moment of realization was like losing her all over again. I would sit in my bed and cry into my pillow, trying frantically to recall her scent, to remember what it felt like to wake up to her cold feet seeking comfort underneath my legs.

But now?

It’s the first time that I’ve remembered that she’s gonewithoutfeeling like my world is ending all over again.

Today, I feel the acceptance hit first. Then gratitude.

Ziva’s no longer here. But I don’t feel so alone anymore. I don’t feel as though it’s me against the world anymore. And that’s because of the weight of the hand draped over my arm.

I turn slowly and stare at the man lying next to me in the bed he had brought in specially for my little forced hospital sojourn. This is the first time I’ve caught Uri sleeping. He usually falls asleep after me and wakes up long before I do.

I marvel at how peaceful he looks. Each and every perfect feature on his face—even the scars, the frown lines. The man is a work of art. Beautiful in every way, and all the more so for the visible proof of what he’s suffered through to keep his family safe.

I don’t dare touch him for fear of waking him up. But I am itching to run my fingers down the straight line of his nose, the sharp slant of his jaw. His eyelashes are solong. Why haven’t I noticed that before?

He’s also got a tiny brown birthmark just underneath his left eye that I’d always assumed was a freckle. He’s just never stayed still long enough for me to notice all those little nuances that make his face one of one.

He insisted on staying at the hospital with me overnight. Even after I ordered him away to go be with Lev and Polly, he refused.“Polly and Lev will be fine. They’ve got Nikolai and Dimiv looking out for them. You need me more.”

It was probably the first time it really hit me:I’m not alone. Not anymore. Not ever again.

He breathes deeply and his eyes start to flutter open. I lean in, finally giving in to my desire to touch him. My fingers drift down his cheek and those hazy blue eyes focus on me.

“I was beginning to wonder if you ever slept.”

He smiles and I marvel at how soft he seems right now. It can only come from the vulnerability of watching someone sleep and knowing that they trust you enough to lose themselves in unconsciousness.

He kisses me gently on the lips. “Even I need rest occasionally.”

“I like watching you sleep.”

As I laugh, his lips fall against my neck and I moan, my body responding immediately to his touch. Despite my growing belly and the slight twinge running down my spine, I feel myself moisten eagerly.

“Uri…”

“Hm?”

I can feel his erection against my leg and my desire for him outweighs any and all sense of caution. I try to shimmy down, but I’m not moving so sneakily or gracefully these days.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he tuts.

“Just wanted to say good morning to the soldier saluting me downstairs.”

Desire washes across his face but he grips my elbow and refuses to let me sink down on the bed. “He appreciates that. But it’s not about him right now.”

Before I can stop him, Uri is sliding his hand up under the hem of the thin cotton slip I’m wearing. “Uri,” I gasp. “Wait… wait…”

“Why?”

“I want to do something foryou.”

He chuckles. “The fact that you think I don’t enjoy this is insane.”

“Well, fine. But I want to return the favor.”

---