Page 11 of Jester

PAPA BEAR

Brody Marsden/Founder

My life’s never beenparticularly simple. My abusive parents were allowed to take their problems out on me for a long time before the state got involved. Foster care and group homes were a mixed bag. I never found any affection from the families I stayed with over the years. If left to them and my own parents, I might have grown up to be a monster.

Foster care and the group homes were also where I met many of my good friends. Without that time, I wouldn’t have the Sanctuary, my kids, the women I’ve loved, or the knowledge that my existence lifts up other people.

Life is often complicated that way. Like with Jester.

On one hand, I’m relieved my friend will breathe free air again. Jester’s been locked up for seven years for doing something I wanted to do myself. He’s behaved behind bars, focused on the goal of getting out as soon as possible. Now, he can claim his freedom.

On the other hand, prison kept him away from my daughter. No matter what I tell others—or even myself—I can’t imagine my firstborn daughter sharing a bed or creating a life with Jester.

Since she was a teenager, Talon’s had a weird obsession with him. At first, Jester didn’t seem to notice. He was around when she was born and barely acknowledged her existence. She treated him like just another member of her extended club family. There was never any “Uncle Jester” relationship between my kids and him.

One day, though, I realized Jester was no longer oblivious to Talon’s interest. At seventeen, she was a looker. Of course, she’s always been blind to this fact since she doesn’t look like her mom. But Jester wasn’t blind to it, and I had to remind him of how Talon wasn’t like him.

“She doesn’t know the real you,” I explained. “She thinks you’ve got a heart of gold hiding under your tatted armor.”

“Like you do?”

“Yeah.”

Jester didn’t need me to spell out how his heart wasn’t made out of gold.

And if he hurt her, I’d need to hurt him. Jester’s a tough bastard, but he can’t stand up to me. That’s why he backed off.

For a while, anyway. I had to give him the same talk several times, just to make sure Talon had space to grow. She talked tough and never seemed like a pushover, but my baby grew up loved. She’s mouthy more than mean. If Jester pushed for something, she was bound to back down and obey. I didn’t want her to be his bitch.

I kept hoping a woman would catch Jester’s eye. He deserved love. I noticed how he would watch my first wife—a kindhearted, sexy brunette named Betty Boop—and seem lovestruck. He craved the tenderness she offered. But as a grown man, he always seemed drawn to shitty, selfish women. Or maybe those were the only women willing to put up with his bullshit. Either way, he never found someone to love.

Even though Jester was already a teen when we met, he’s always felt like my son. Everything good in him came from Betty Boop and me. We transformed him from a raging mess to the semi-normal mess he is now.

When Jester arrived at the group home, Risa sensed something particularly lost in him. That’s why she called me. Many boys would do fine in life despite spending their youth in the system.

But some were so lost, they seemed destined to die young or become monsters. Jester was like that. He had potential but was too far gone to find a good path on his own.

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