Page 64 of Size Doesn't Matter

“Okay,” Anna said, shoving a morsel of muffin in her mouth. “And you’re absolutely certain he didn’t say I love fucking you?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. I mean, he said that later in bed when we were actually fucking, but out on the balcony, he definitely said the other thing.”

“Oh my god.” Anna paused to absorb that information, then demanded, “And… so? What did you say? Details, woman! You can’t drop a bomb like that and then stop.”

“I didn’t say anything.” She yanked the teabags out and tossed them in the bin, then added milk and sugar to her mug. Anna took hers black. “I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open and no sound coming out of it like a fucking idiot.”

“Did he say anything else?”

“He was going to, but then the pizza arrived and it all sorta got shunted to the side while we ate. And then it gotreallyawkward, because every time I tried to say something, he changed the subject, like he was embarrassed. Or worse, regretted saying it at all.”

“Well that sucks.”

Sophie bit her lip as the urge to cry welled up inside her. “Did I fuck this up already?”

Anna was off her stool and had Sophie in her arms in an instant, hugging her so tightly she could barely breathe. “Hey, of course not. You haven’t fucked anything up.”

“But I didn’t say it back, and I know that hurt him.” She stepped back, shook her head and sniffed back her tears. “The look in his eyes, Anna. You should have seen how sad he looked.”

“First of all, you are under no obligation to tell someone you love them just to spare their feelings. Especially if youdon’tlove them. And second….” Her friend took a breath, clasped her hands on Sophie’s shoulders and stared her down. “Do you love him?”

“I don’t know. I know I have a lot of very big feelings about him, but I don’t know if it’s love.”

“Okay, big feelings is a good start. Tell me about them.”

“What is this, the Doctor Anna show?”

“My surnameisValentine?”

“That doesn’t make you an expert on love, you know?”

“No, but I’ve been in therapy long enough to know that talking shit through really does help. And it’s possible I feelslightlyresponsible for your current situation,” she said, holding up her finger and thumb to pinch the air.

“Slightly? If you and Ethan hadn’t set us up, none of this would be happening.”

“And you wouldn’t have met a great guy who you now have very big feelings for.”

Sophie opened her mouth to argue further, but couldn’t. Anna was right. About all of it. Instead, she gulped down half her tea, then grabbed a muffin and began dissecting it, pulling out the blueberries and eating them one by one. “Is it normal to feel so… desperate?”

Anna frowned. “Explain,” she said, taking her seat again on the other side of the kitchen island.

“I don’t really know how else to describe it. Maybe crave is a good word? Like, Icravehis touch. His skin is soft but his hands are so strong, and when he touches me it’s absolutely electric. Geez, just thinking about his hand around my throat is making me horny.”

A spluttering sound dragged her attention back to Anna, who was wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “So Ethan was right, huh? Jack is into all that kinky stuff, like you?”

“Hey, Ethan is no angel in the bedroom either, you know, but yes, Jack is into all that kinky stuff.” Heat bloomed in her cheeks even as she smiled. “And he’s really,reallygood at it.” She poked at the remains of her muffin. “Actually, he’s pretty great in general.”

“For example?”

“You’ve seen the lounge room, right? He made that happen because he wanted me to feel welcome here. He paid his decorator to have her team up at the butt crack of dawn to make sure it was finished by the time we got home. On a Sunday.Andhe’s letting me choose how to redecorate the entire apartment. I have a meeting with Layla next week.” She shook her head and chuckled. “And as annoying as it was that he asked you about my favourite things, at least he took the time to ask and didn’t just send the usual cliched crap men think women want.”

“He literally sent you roses and chocolates. How is that not cliched?”

“Twilight Zone roses, Anna. Do you know how rare it is for a florist to carry Twilight Zone roses? God only knows where he found them.”

“And then you chopped their heads off and sent back the stems.”

“Well, duh. I wasn’t going to send back the pretty bits.”

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