Page 63 of His Own Heaven

Lucy liked physical pain. Always had. It soothed her mind when she was stressed, calmed her anxiety and reset her equilibrium. She didn’t know why and she didn’t care, she just knew it worked for her. Like a balm for her soul.

Toby’s hard and fast face fuck didn’t hurt, but it also wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world, and the sting in her scalp where he fisted her hair compensated for that lack of pain and she felt it all the way to her toes.Delicious.

So why was her brain railing against it?

Her body was responding as expected. Her skin felt tight and flushed, her heart raced, her clit throbbed and her pussy wept. So why wasn’t her brain on board for the experience? And why did she feel tightness in her chest? Because it was a punishment?

But that didn’t make any sense.

Toby had punished her over the weekend and she’d loved every salacious second of it. Maybe because he’d had taken away her ability to speak, to say her safeword if she needed it? Or was it simply because he’d taken away her control? Instead of giving Toby the sensual blowjob she wanted, Lucy had to make do with being used.

She’d wanted togivehim pleasure. He wasn’t supposed to justtakeit from her.

But now she had to make do with being his fuck toy.

A flicker of understanding tickled her brain.

Lucy was Toby’s fuck toy.

His to command and control and dominate. His to protect. He’d been very clear on that point so why would he stop now? And Lucyknewshe could stop the punishment if she wanted to. Even without the power of speech, she knew all she had to do was tap his leg three times, pause, then tap twice more and Toby would stop everything. It was their secret knock, a silent safeword they’d devised over the weekend.

That’s why he’d insisted she place her hands on his thighs. When she wasn’t gagged, he tied her hands behind her back.

And as her mind clung to that knowledge, it began letting go of everything else.

Her annoyance at herself for forgetting the rules was forgotten. Her irritation with Toby for making her so goddamn fucking horny—which she realised was the real punishment—vanished. She stopped overanalysing everything.

Lucy didn’t need to be in control. Not with Toby. Not while he was there to take care of her. And he’d never been going to let her give him that sensual blowjob.

Because he was punishing her.

“Look at me, baby.”

Unable to ignore the command, her gaze instantly snapped to his. And the way he looked at her blew her mind. Pleasure. Reverence. Desire. Hunger. It all swam in the ocean of his arctic gaze, boring into her from above.

And that’s when she surrendered.

That was the moment she let go of everything else. Every doubt, every question, every lingering work-related thought she hadn’t been able to shut down when they’d clocked out… Lucy let it all go.

She clung to Toby’s thighs and stared up at him, allowed herself to drown in the ocean of his eyes, to be present in the moment, to let go of her control and truly submit.

And when she did that, a myriad of things happened.

Her anxiety and the tightness it caused in her chest eased away, she relaxed and breathed more easily, and… she made a decision.

Lucy chose totrustToby.

Trust him not only with her body as she’d done over the weekend, but with her mind too.

And maybe her heart….

Then she swallowed hard and hoped like Hell he didn’t turn out like the last man she’d trusted.

Toby groaned. And he was surprised he’d been able to say that much.

The sight of Lucy on her knees taking his cock down her throat, watching her mind blank, feeling her body relax, seeing the fire in her whisky eyes bank into a smouldering flame, incandescent with desire…. And the feel of her lips, her teeth, her tongue, all working together in beautiful synchronicity as he fucked her mouth with hard, demanding thrusts, his hands fisted in her hair, her tears drying on her cheeks….

Bliss. Pure unadulterated bliss.

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