I doubted it.
While I agreed we had done a lot of good, changed a lot of lives for the better, we still had years of bad under our belts, years he was not going to overlook. If Mia had been my daughter, I wouldn’t have let her anywhere near people like us no matter how much good they’d done after the fact.
“What do you think?”
I met Dav’s hopeful gaze and wished I hadn’t; there was so much desperation there, so much longing. I knew he would accept it if I told him no, but a curious part of me wondered if maybe … just maybe Luis had changed his mind. If maybe he saw the changes in the community and accepted we were worthy.
“We can try,” I mused, more to myself than him.
Dav’s face brightened. “Yeah?” He shifted as if barely containing himself from bolting to the door like a Golden Retriever told he was going for a walk. “Want to go now?”
I would have laughed at his enthusiasm if I wasn’t equally anxious. So, I agreed. I followed the other man to the car and climbed into my new place in the backseat; a rule Davien insisted on.
“The boss doesn’t ride shotgun. That’s how you’re going to get a bullet in the head.”
I wasn’t averse to the change. I liked being in the front with him, but image was everything now. Plus, the backseat gave me space to think and worry without getting caught.
“Do you think he’s home?” Dav broke into my thoughts, rerouting my attention away from the window at my elbow and the rearview mirror where his eyes watched me.
“Luis?” I lifted a shoulder. “Possibly.”
“It’s early,” he fretted, darting a glance in the direction of the clock. “What if he’s at work? Can we come back later?”
I rubbed absently at the soft grains of fabric woven through my trousers, another change I wasn’t sure how I felt about; I missed my jeans. My brain worked over the comment and the stress in my friend’s tone.
“You know you don’t have to ask my permission if you want to go,” I pressed at last, repeating the same words every time Mia’s name came up, which was often.
“I’m not going without you,” he said with a firmness I appreciated, but disliked. “We’re in this together, remember? Besides,” he added with a slight smirk, “I can’t trust myself not to punch Luis in the mouth.”
I wanted to tell him to stand in line. The only thing stopping me from wrapping my hands around the older man’s throat was how much it would hurt Mia. Plus, unlike Davien, I understood his reasoning. How could I fault him for protecting the very person I would happily put my life down for?
“I miss her,” Davien breathed unexpectedly, jerking my attention up to the mirror, but finding his features cast in shadows. “I think about her all the time, wondering if she’s locked up in some closet somewhere or if she’s ever going to come back.” He broke off, unspooling his uncertainty into the cabin to tangle with mine. “I’ve been texting her.”
I blinked, not having expected that. “You texted her?”
Dav nodded intentionally avoiding looking at me by putting the car into drive. “A few times just to see how she was. Never got a response.”
I didn’t know how I felt about that. We’d both agreed to let Mia come back on her own terms, when she was ready; she was a grown woman and if she wanted us, her parents, her family shouldn’t be the thing holding her back. But given the number of times I nearly texted her because of those very reasons, how could I blame him?
The drive to Luis’s went by in silence after Davien’s declaration. It annoyed me that I didn’t know what we were walking into. My brain combed through the many things Luis could hold over our heads, the many ways he could tell us to fuck off. The unknown gouged holes in my gut and left me bearing down on my jaw to keep from telling Davien to turn around.
I wasn’t a wuss. Conflict and confrontation were things I could handle. I never backed out of a fight. Something about facing Mia’s father and getting rejected made me want to throw up.
“I miss killing people,” I breathed, mainly to myself, but Davien caught my eye in the mirror and arched a brow.
“I can arrange something if you like,” he teased. “I can put together a nice little head hunt at Eduardo’s villa.”
I rolled my eyes, amusement picking at my lips. “Not what I meant.”
I could just make out the corner of his mouth quirking up. “I could always let you take care of Joaquin once I get my hands on him, Oh! And Darnell. That little rat fucker is still on my hit list.”
While the idea of taking both those assholes off the planet sounded really nice, I knew it wouldn’t make me feel better.
“Eduardo is not going to let us erase Darnell, as much as I wish we could.”
Davien grunted. “Eduardo…”
The low, grumbling mumble had me eyeing the back of my friend’s skull with amusement. “Careful,” I half teased.