Page 74 of Dirty Gambit

“I’ve never been shot before,” she rasped. “I don’t think I like it.”

He knew she was trying to make light of the situation, but he was having a damn hard time finding the humor in the two holes draining her of her life.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” the words tore out of him in jagged splinters. “Why? Why, Lena? Why would you do something so fucking stupid?”

She seemed confused for a moment as if she couldn’t understand how he didn’t know. “He was going to shoot you.” Her reply was said with such conviction, it left no room for any other response. “I couldn’t let him…” she broke off with a choked wheeze.

Frankie returned then, dropping down on Lena’s other side. “Hey, sweetie,” she crooned, stroking Lena’s damp brow. “I need you to lie very still for me, okay? And stay awake. Help is on the way.”

Lena blinked very slowly, a sluggish droop before she caught herself and pried her lids open. “I couldn’t … lose you.”

“But it’s okay if I lose you?” he finished, anger battling with his commonsense to keep her relaxed. “It’s okay if I have to watch you die in my arms?”

“It was me or you, Jaxon. There was never any question who—”

“I question!” he snarled, cutting her off. “I had him. I could have—”

“He wasn’t worth it.”

“You had no right to make that choice for me.”

“Jaxon.” Frankie set a hand on his shoulder, willing him to calm down, but neither he nor Lena was paying her any mind, lost in their battle.

Lena’s eyes narrowed even as her words caught around a pained tremor. “Bite me, Westwick. I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to.”

It took all his effort not to grab her and shake her until sense or something resembling it knocked back into her.

A twist of pain rippled through her, seizing her body, and arching her back. Her groan hissed through clenched teeth, and she shut her eyes to wait it out. The amusement was gone when she met his gaze once more. In its place was something else, something dark and wrenching. It was the look of someone accepting their fate, admitting defeat. Then she opened her mouth. “I need to tell you something.” He started to shake his head, not wanting to hear any confessions from her when her blood was pouring over his fingers in hot waves. “Please,” she whispered, tears bright in her eyes.

Jaxon gritted his jaw. “What?”

She licked her lips, her tongue too pink against the white of her skin. “There’s no way this isn’t going to make it in the paper. Keeping it from Jessie is going to be impossible now, but she needs to know her mom’s … her biological mom’s family wasn’t crazy. Lissa died protecting her and I…” she paused to take a breath. “I tried. I made a mess and screwed it all up, but I did it because I love her. I did it to keep her safe. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. Tell her that, please?”

“You can tell her yourself,” he muttered.

Lena tried for another breath, this one shallower. “The money is hers. No one knows about it. We never had anything growing up, but Jessie won’t be like us. She’s not some orphan with nothing to her name. It’s probably pocket change to you guys, but…” Her words caught as if she couldn’t breathe. She wheezed and coughed. A spittle of blood appeared at the corner of her lips, too bright against her cheek. Jaxon’s chest seized at the sight of it.

“Stop talking,” he rasped, his lips oddly numb.

She made a low humming sound. “I’m sorry.” Her lip quivered and a tear streaked down her temples to disappear into her hairline. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I put your family and Jessie through hell. If I could go back…” Her weak chuckle nearly destroyed him as much as the sight of her fading before his eyes. “I would do it over again because these last few days with you—”

“Don’t!” His teeth creaked under the force of his clenching jaw. Her face blurred behind the wall of tears hot in his eyes. “You’re not saying goodbye. Do you understand me? I’m not … I won’t accept—”

“I don’t think you can save me from this, handsome.” She gave him a rueful grin.

“Watch me!”

“It’s not so bad. You and Jessie are safe. I can finally…” Her eyelids began to slip closed.

“Lena?” He gave her a slight shake without easing on the pressure. “Open your eyes, baby. Come on. Don’t fall asleep on me.”

Her lashes fluttered open, and she blinked up at him as if trying to bring him into focus. “I realized something this morning,” she rasped, her voice a wisp barely audible in the fragile silence. “I don’t like waking up without you.”

Using his free hand with its broken finger, Jaxon brushed back her hair, aware of the hard tremors rocking up his attached limb. “It won’t happen again. I promise. I promise. Just stay with me.”

She gave a wrenching gasp, face twisted in a grimace of agony. “I really fucked up, Jaxon,” she half sobbed, half wheezed. “When … when I started this, I didn’t think … you would end up mattering so much.” Her body seized in a vicious ripple of pain that stole what little color remained in her cheeks. She bit down hard on her bottom lip until droplets of blood popped up against the white. “But you grew on me,” she choked out as if trying to get it all out before it was too late. “I fell for you even though I tried so hard not to. I wish…” A wet, rasping noise filled her lungs. Fresh tears welled and slipped down her face. “I wish we had more time…” She sucked in a final, serrated breath. “Tell your mom I’m sorry about the carpet,” she slurred. “And tell Jessie…” Her voice faded to a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

Her lashes fluttered closed with a final gasp. Her body went limp against the widespread of her blood.

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