Page 100 of Behind the Net

“She and Hazel are going to a bar.”

I imagine Pippa in the busy bar, her hair loose and wavy like at the wrap party. Maybe she’s wearing a dress, but more likely, she’s dressed casually because it’s a crappy bar in a small town, and she doesn’t want to stick out. When she told me that, I laughed, because there isn’t a single room where Pippa wouldn’t stick out.

An unwelcome image pops into my head of a guy leaning on the bar, talking to her. Smiling at her. His gaze dropping to her mouth, her tits. Maybe he reaches out and tucks her hair behind her ear, says something teasing. My nostrils flare.

I hate that idea. I hate it so fucking much. My knee bounces as I stare at nothing.

“Jamie?”

I snap to attention. “Hmm?”

My mom shrugs, nonchalant. “Why don’t you go visit Pippa? Silver Falls is lovely, honey, and I bet she’d love to show you around her hometown.”

My knee continues to bounce as I consider it. I’m crawling out of my skin without her.

In the past few weeks, my momhasseemed better. She seems less worried, less anxious, like she has more control. Maybe she’d be fine.

Miller’s mom lives a few minutes from here, and I’m certain he’s spending the holiday there. I have a weird feeling he’d be over here in a heartbeat if I asked.

And she’s looking for a therapist. That is a huge step.

“Okay.” I nod. “I’m going to Silver Falls.”

CHAPTER48

PIPPA

This has beenthe longest week of my life.

“Pippa.” Hazel opens her eyes from the chair beside the window overlooking the backyard. She’s in her pajamas and has major bedhead.

I’m draped across the couch, also in pajamas with major bedhead, staring limply out the same window at the snow-covered trees. They’re pretty, but I don’t even care. “What?”

“I’m trying to meditate but you keep sighing.” She gives me a look that’s both irritated and amused.

I wrinkle my nose. “Sorry.”

She raises an eyebrow, and my stomach tightens. New Year’s Eve is tomorrow, and then we fly home the next day.

I have absolutely no idea what to do about my crush on the guy from high school, which has expanded into full-blown swoony feelings. I like him. I might even feel more than that, but I’m not looking in that direction right now. I’m just trying to figure out what to do.

My gut tells me he feels the same way, but after what he admitted about Erin? He might not be ready to hear it. That would be the ultimate devastation, telling him and having it fall flat.

I’m torn, so I’m sitting here, staring out the window, getting on Hazel’s nerves while I deliberate.

My phone lights up with a text.

Hey.

There’s a burst of excitement in my chest. I can’t help it. It’s just my body’s reaction when he texts me. We’ve been textinga lotover the break, and part of me hopes that he’s just as bored and miserable without me.

Hi, I respond, eyes glued to my screen, watching as the typing dots appear.

I’ve been thinking about taking a trip.

Oh, yeah? Somewhere warm?

Somewhere cold.

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