Page 96 of Behind the Net

“Yeah.” His throat works. “It was my rookie year, and her career was just taking off.” He glances at me. “She was a model.”

I nod, not wanting to disclose how much I’ve Googled her.

“Her period was two weeks late, and when she told me she might be pregnant, she looked so happy.” He sucks a breath in as guilt moves over his features. “I was freaking out.”

“Of course.” I can’t even imagine being pregnant at nineteen. I’d be terrified.

“Whenever I had time off, I’d fly home to visit my mom.” His stare goes unfocused, like he’s back there in his memories. “I thought things between me and Erin were casual, but she thought we were more.”

“What happened?”

He lets out a long sigh. “She wasn’t pregnant, but after she saw my face when she thought she was, it was different. We broke up.” His gaze lifts to mine, so full of regret and worry. “And I saw online a week later that she left modeling. She had all these contracts for Fashion Week and she pulled out. She had a really promising career and walked away, and I know it was because of me.” He shakes his head. “I fucking crushed her, Pippa.”

My heart aches for Jamie, because I can see how torn he still is about this. “Jamie.” Our gazes meet, and I give him a soft smile. “That’s a lot of blame to put on yourself. People go through breakups all the time.”

“Zach dumped you and squashed your confidence.”

My lips part and I blink, scrambling to defend myself, but he’s right.

“I can’t do that again,” he says.

This is why he doesn’t do relationships. The realization makes me so sad. Jamie’s been beating himself up about this for years.

“Maybe Zach broke my heart and told me I wasn’t good enough to make music my career, but that doesn’t mean I believe him. I did, but I don’t know if I still do.” I offer him a small smile. “And you have a lot to do with that. Did you ever talk to Erin about what happened?”

He studies me for a long moment. “No.”

The song in the restaurant changes, and my thoughts screech to a halt as I listen to Zach sing the opening lyrics. My stomach drops through the floor.

“What’s wrong?” Jamie’s voice sounds very far away.

The lyrics float around me, and my lips mouth the chorus as Zach sings. I’m vaguely aware that Jamie’s hand is covering mine on top of the table, but all I can focus on is Zach singing my song.

Mysong. The one I played for him and his manager. The one they laughed at.

They said it wasn’t good enough before they took it.

CHAPTER45

PIPPA

Nausea rises up my throat.

“Pippa.” Jamie’s sitting beside me now, arm around my shoulders, concern all over his face. “What’s going on?”

“This is my song.” My voice is flat. “This is my song,” I repeat.

Some of the lyrics are different. The verses are a different tune, but the chorus is all mine.

Jamie flags the server down before pulling a bill out of his wallet and handing it to her. “Can you change the song, please? Right now.”

A moment later, Zach’s voice cuts off abruptly, replaced by the opening notes of a different song.

He laughed at me. This entire time, I thought I wasn’t good enough.

He saw it. He definitely saw it, Jamie said about Zach.

“Pippa,” Jamie murmurs, and his hand is on the back of my neck, warm and solid and comforting. The contact drags me back to the present, and I blink up at him. He looks furious and concerned, a hard set to his jaw and fire in his eyes.