Page 82 of Behind the Net

I’m buttoning my pants up. “I’ll go to your mom’s place.”

He shakes his head. “No, I can go there after.”

“Jamie, I’ll take an Uber to your mom’s place, and you can pick us up there after, or I can just take an Uber home if she’s fine.”

He stares at me, and something passes through his eyes. “Okay. Thank you, Pippa. I really appreciate this.”

“No problem.” I grab my phone and book a pet-friendly Uber before digging my headphones out of my bag and calling Donna.

“Pippa?” Her voice is high.

“Hey.” I smile at Jamie, and my tone is warm and reassuring. “I’m going to pay you a visit while Jamie drives out to Claire’s, and I’m bringing Daisy. Maybe we can take her for a walk around the neighborhood.”

“Okay.” She sounds hesitant, and her breathing is thin. “I could do that.”

“I’m going to stay on the phone with you until I get there,” I tell her, pulling my hoodie on.

I’ve been reading online about panic attacks. Some people who get them recommended distractions as a way to calm down.

“That would be nice.” She sounds relieved. “I’m so sorry, honey. I just got all worked up and then—” She cuts herself off. “I don’t know what happened.”

“It’s okay. Tell me about your day.”

While Donna talks, Jamie stares at me like he doesn’t know what to make of me, and I gesture at him to go. He nods and stalks out of the room, and moments later, I hear the front door close.

* * *

“Is that Orion?” I ask Donna, pointing up at the stars while Daisy sniffs a rosebush.

Donna cranes her neck. “I thought that was the Big Dipper.”

We talked on the phone the entire way here, and by the time I arrived, her breathing was almost back to normal. Jamie called to explain that Claire’s phone was dead and she couldn’t find her power cord. As Donna and I wander her neighborhood, I can hardly tell she had a panic attack within the last few hours.

“Huh.” I point over to the east. “I thoughtthatwas the Big Dipper.”

Donna laughs. “I have zero knowledge of astronomy, so don’t ask me.”

“Me neither.”

We both laugh, and she gives my shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “Thank you so much for coming up here on short notice, honey.” She rolls her eyes at herself, looking embarrassed. “I’m so sorry I took over your evening.”

“It’s fine.” I shake my head, smiling. “Honestly. We don’t want you to be stuck up here all by yourself.”

“Don’t say that to Jamie or he’ll try to move in with me again.”

I snort. “He can be stubborn when he wants to be.”

An image of him flashes into my head—arms folded over his chest, t-shirt straining across his shoulders as he glares down at me using the toy. My skin feels hot, and I turn away so Donna can’t see whatever expression is on my face.

“I pictured her in a car accident, like Paul,” Donna says quietly. “Jamie’s father. And then I couldn’tstoppicturing it. It was like the thoughts took over and I couldn’t get a hold of things. They’re normally triggered by the smell of alcohol.” Her eyes meet mine, and she searches my expression for something. Judgment, maybe. “Sometimes driving. But never out of the blue like this.”

I make a noise of acknowledgment. “Lots of people have panic attacks. There are doctors who specialize in this.”

She shakes her head hard. “No. No way. No doctors, no medication.” She lets out a bitter laugh. “I’ve been there and I’m not going back.”

I think about what Jamie said at dinner tonight, about how his mom had depression when he was a kid, and that’s why he knows how to cook. My heart aches for them. I can see why Donna isn’t interested in revisiting the past, and I don’t even know the whole story.

“That looks like Scorpio,” Donna says, pointing at a cluster of stars.

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