Page 37 of Finn Rhodes Forever

“Uh-huh.” Her tone was dry.

My mom wasn’t Finn’s biggest fan. Any time I had a kid over from school who wasn’t Finn, she’d be thrilled and overly encouraging, especially as I got further into my teen years and Finn’s antics started getting worse.

She was relieved when he left. She’d never say that because I was obviously upset, but I think she saw Finn leaving as a bullet dodged.

On the couch, I told her about my plan to get him to lose interest in me.

“Ohhhhkay.” She pointed at my hair. “I get the bad haircut now.” She studied me for a moment before letting out a laugh and burying her head in her hands. “Oh my god. Baby. You’re playing with fire here.”

“It’s fine. I have it all under control.”

“I don’t know about this.” She shook her head, worrying her bottom lip. “He’s just…”

I waited. “He’s just what?”

“He’s something else.” She didn’t say it like it was a good thing. “And he’s always been your weakness.”

I huffed. “Wow. Not mincing words tonight, are you?”

“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t mean it in a bad way. Guys like Finn? I know guys like him. Or, I knew one.” She laughed but it didn’t reach her eyes. My stomach twisted again at the comparison between Finn and Cole.

“I told you, it’s fake.”

“You can’t rely on them.” Her expression was pained. “They don’t stick around for long. Finn has been in and out of this town for years.”

“Iknow.” My shoulders tensed with irritation.

“You can’t change them.”

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes closed. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I have everything under control. Everything you’re saying, I already know. Finn’s the only one who doesn’t realize he’s going to leave again, okay? I’m ready for it.”

She chewed her lip, her blue eyes holding mine. “Yeah. Okay.” She winced through a small smile. “Just trying to protect my baby.”

“I’m not a baby anymore.”

“You’re notababy, but you’re stillmybaby.” She looped her arm around my shoulders and made squeaky kissy noises against my face.

I laughed and tried to push her away. “Stop it.”

We turned back to the movie, and while we watched, my mind wandered to Finn.

My mom was right. This was the reminder I needed. I had replayed the quick brush of his lips over mine in the bar a hundred times, and when he looked at me yesterday after our date at the doily museum with heat in his gaze, Iwantedhim to kiss me.

You ruined me, and I’m not mad about it.

I had to be careful around him. My brain knew he was bad news, but my body? She wanted action with the hot, bright-eyed firefighter covered in tattoos.

Later, after I ran upstairs to use the washroom, I lingered in the open doorway of my old bedroom.

Except for removing my posters and pictures on the walls, my parents had kept the room the same. It was a guest room now for visitors. I wandered in, approaching the window that faced Finn’s old room.

I peered out but Finn’s old room was dark, so I couldn’t see inside. I’d stolen peeks over the years and from this distance, it also looked mostly the same. My gaze passed over the Rhodes’ front yard, where I’d seen Finn sneak out and back in on grad night.

My shoulder bumped the window frame as I looked out.

Everywhere I turned, I was flooded with memories of Finn. I thought about what my mom said.

You can’t rely on them. You can’t change them.

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