Page 95 of Finn Rhodes Forever

“When we told each other—” I cut myself off, not ready to say it again. “I wanted you to hate me. It was easier that way, Liv. It was just a matter of time before you saw me the way your mom did, the way everyone else did. So I left before you could leave me.”

“And now?” Her voice was quiet.

“And now I’m willing to take that risk.” I thought about her biological father in the bar. “I’m not Cole.” Anger weaved through my chest and I shook my head to myself. “I’d never leave you, never leave our kid.” The image of Liv with our baby was almost too sweet to picture, and the idea of leaving her again, leavingthem, made my stomach churn. “Jesus, Liv. I can’t even think about doing that. Even if you wanted out, I wouldn’t leave town again. I’d buy the house next door and watch you raise our kid with some other guy if I had to.” I scrubbed my hands down my face, dragging air into my lungs. “Fuck. I hate that idea.”

Her hand was on my thigh. “Stop picturing it. That’s not going to happen.”

The tension in my chest eased a notch. “I fucked up, Liv. I fucked up in so many ways, but I’m trying to fix it.” I turned to meet her gaze. “Do you understand?”

She nodded.

“Good.” My voice was low while I stared into the fire, arms crossed, and a second later, Liv pulled my arm out and took my hand. I studied our joined palms, fingers laced, the nails on her delicate hand. My thumb stroked back and forth across her skin as my pulse slowed.

“What did you mean by the way my mom saw you?” she asked, frowning.

The knot was back in my throat. With my free hand, I rubbed the side of my jaw. “Remember that time we got in trouble in grade twelve for skipping?”

Her eyes narrowed as she remembered. “Yeah. We got ice cream.”

I nodded. “It was the first nice day of the year.”

She huffed a light laugh. “Right. We were so stir crazy after a month of rain.”

“Mhm.” I squeezed her hand, remembering how we ate our ice creams in the marina in town, letting the sun warm our faces. When we returned for the last class of the day, we both got called to the principal’s office, and our parents had to pick us up. “Before you left with your mom, she pulled me aside.”

I repeated the words to Liv, words I had repeated so many times to myself. In the past, during a weak moment when I thought about calling her, they’d ring in my head. I knew that sentence by heart, better than my own name.

“Dragging me down?” she repeated, face falling. “Why would she say that?”

I tilted my head, giving her a dry look. “Come on, Liv. I got you in trouble so many times.”

She blanched. “And I willingly went along with your bad ideas. I could have left. I could have said no. I could have ditched you a thousand times.” She shook her head at me. “Finn, what the fuck?” Her eyes flashed with frustration and anger, and she pulled her hand out of mine before she slapped my chest.

“Wha—?” She smacked my arm and I let out a yelp of surprise, jerking back. “Are you mad atme?”

She stared hard at me. “Yes.” She grabbed her marshmallow-roasting stick and whipped it at my boot.

I squawked a laugh and threw my hands up. My mind whirled. I had just confessed one of my darkest, deepest secrets and she was slapping me?

“Why?”

“Oh my god.” She tossed the stick aside before closing her eyes and rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Because youbelieved her.” She shook her hands out, inhaling a deep breath. “I’m so fucking mad at you right now. All of this because you believed something someone said about you.”

“It’s not just Jen. Everyone says it. Even my mom calls me the devil, Liv.”

Her throat worked and she nodded to herself. “Yeah. I guess so.”

She exhaled before scooting closer to me. Her hand slipped back into mine and her head settled onto my shoulder, and the worry and tension that had me by the throat as I told her the truth began to fall away.

“I missed you,” she whispered. “I hated you but I also missed you, and I’m happy you’re back.”

A pulse hit me square in the chest and I smiled. “Me, too.”

“I like the cartoons. I save them all.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded, hiding her smile. “Yeah.”

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