Page 49 of Finn Rhodes Forever

She pinned me with her gaze and I glanced between her and the counter. “I’m going on a date with Finn tonight.”

“Oh my god. I knew it.” She gasped in delight. “Do you like him now?”

I opened my mouth to deny it but nothing came out. At the diner the other night, he had been so sweet, and talking with him was so easy. I shook my head while my mouth opened and closed.

“No. I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

My forehead wrinkled and I put my face in my hands.

I was a fucking mess, and I’d been a fucking mess for days. Finn living across the hall was driving me insane. The walls were so thin I could hear when he got home or left for the fire hall. If he wasn’t working, he’d hang out in the bar in the evenings, watching sports with his brothers or chatting with the other regulars or my dad. I had lost count of the times I’d turned around with a tray full of drinks and met his gaze while he was mid-conversation. I felt the prickle of his eyes on me at all times. It shot a skitter of nerves down my spine.

Yesterday, there was a bird cartoon sticky note on my car window of the bird driving a car. It saidbird needs an oil change—leave the keys with the asshole across the hall and he’ll get it done. This morning, I opened my front door to a coffee with a sticky note of the bird half asleep and drinking coffee, with little z’s floating out of its head.

My head was full of thoughts of Finn. I thought about the way he smelled, sharp and clean and fresh. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled at me. His fingers on my inner thigh. The way his hands felt framing my jaw as he kissed me quick. Him nipping my ear in the diner.

The worst part? I’d been having sex dreams about Finn. Even my subconscious couldn’t stop thinking about him.

I was so, so fucking horny, and all I could think about was going further with Finn. Kissing Finn. Getting naked with Finn. Licking a line up his throat. His mouth on me. His hands everywhere.

I shuddered. That’s why I was wearing the ugly poo emoji t-shirt. Finn tried to kiss me the other night and I let him. If Finn wanted to pull me into his apartment and touch me until I couldn’t think, I’d let him do that, too.

And then everything would be totally fucked.

“Your eyes are doing that weird thing again,” Sadie said. “Where are you going tonight?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t asked.” I sucked in a breath. “It’s getting harder to…” I trailed off and met Sadie’s eyes. She was one of the few people I could be myself around. “I’m forgetting why I hate him. He’s…”

“Really hot?” she supplied.

I snorted. “Yeah. He’s really hot.”

I remembered how sweet he was, doing first aid on me.And nice, thoughtful, and funny.

“Is it possible he’s not the guy you remember?” Her voice was quiet and she studied her nails, acting casual.

I knew what she was doing. She was trying not to freak me out.

“Stop planting the seed of doubt.”

Her gaze shot up and she grinned. “Sorry. Busted. I just remember at my wedding when he asked me about you. He seemed so sad, like he wished he still had you in his life.” Her mouth twisted in a rueful smile. “He still cares about you.”

“I know he does.” My heart squeezed up into my throat and I crossed my arms, hugging myself.

He cared about me before and he still left.

Sadie’s gaze caught over my shoulder. “Hello,” she said with a bright smile.

I turned to see Dot, the doily museum owner, standing on the other side of the counter.

“Hi, Dot.” I blinked in surprise. With her tweed skirt suit, white silk shirt with a lace collar, and neatly pinned up gray hair, she stuck out in the dingy dive bar.

“Hello, Olivia.” She reached down into her handbag before placing a doily on the counter.

Or, it was supposed to be a doily. It was a mangled mess of yarn and white fabric, like a kid had made it. Sadie and I stared at it on the counter.

“Finn forgot to take it with him after the workshop,” she told us.

“The workshop?” Sadie repeated.

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