Page 50 of An Heir Made In Hawaii (Hot Winter Escapes)

She loved him so much. But loving someone didn’t mean accepting less than what she deserved.

A cramping in her lower stomach interrupted her spiraling thoughts. Her breath caught as her fingers tightened on her belly.

Something’s wrong.

Panic clawed up her throat.

“Nicholas...” She bit back a sob and reached out to him. He was by her side in an instant.

“What’s wrong?” he demanded.

“The baby. Something’s wrong with the baby.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

NICHOLASSATBYthe hospital bed, Anika’s hand clasped in his. She’d fallen asleep sometime just before dawn.

The doctors had run a series of tests but found nothing wrong. The doctor had diagnosed the most likely scenario: normal muscle cramps exacerbated by stress.

Every moment in the hospital had made Nick remember the dark days when his brother had passed. The beeping of the machines, the distant sobs, the cold feeling deep in his belly. Every time a doctor came in, he’d tensed, fearing the worst news possible. He tried to maintain a brave face for Anika’s sake. But as he sat there watching blood being drawn from her arm, watching her fingers fist the sheets at her sides as she waited for the next doctor to come in, all he could think was that once again he had caused someone pain.

And not just anyone. The mother of his child.

Tonight, when he had walked into the inn and seen her so pale, he’d been angry. Angry that while he had been off managing a ridiculous disagreement with one of the construction firms hired to work on the hotel in Greece, she had been working too hard, putting not only herself but the baby at risk. He’d been anxious to get back, to see her, to spend time with her.

Only to walk in and see her looking like death. He’d been scared, yes. Scared that she would work too hard, that something would go wrong. But he’d also felt guilty. He’d been sleeping on a brand-new bed on Egyptian cotton sheets while she’d been tucked away in that ramshackle building. One of the few things he could offer without reservations, or ties tethering him to the past, was his wealth. And he’d done nothing with it aside from a few token gifts.

When he said that she should move into the hotel with him, he had truly only been thinking of her. But her reaction to his proposal, her immediate jump to her initial accusations of the past, had brought out the worst in him.

Or had he merely lived up to her expectations, or lack thereof? He scrubbed his hand over his face. She had spoken the truth when she had accused him of not being able to fully commit. He had tried. He had tried to open up the lock he kept on his heart, to let go of the fear.

He had failed.

As much as he had come to care for Anika, as many times as he had thought about what it would be like to hold the baby in his arms, he still could not allow himself to feel about her the way he was beginning to suspect she felt about him.

How cruel, he thought as he turned to look at her once more: the dark brush of her eyelashes against her pale skin, the slight curve to her mouth, the protective hand lying over her stomach. The sight of it sent a jolt of longing through him, but he quickly squashed it. Of course he would be feeling something in the moments after he had the terrifying scare of hearing her calling his name, asking for his help. Of seeing her eyes wild with panic, her teeth gritted in pain.

He hadn’t known fear like that since the ambulance had sped away with David in the back. The day that his entire life had changed.

He had learned the hard way that people could act one way in the midst of a crisis and then, once it had passed, go back to being themselves or even become better versions of who they used to be. Sometimes, though, they became worse. Like his parents. After David’s death, they had pulled together. Those first few months they’d been there for him, for each other.

But as the first anniversary of David’s death had rolled around, something had changed. His mother had withdrawn from both of them, her depression taking her farther and farther away from her husband and only living son. His father had responded not by fighting for her, but by taking more and more trips to get away from the dark melancholy cloud hanging over their home. Leaving Nicholas to wallow in his own guilt.

When he talked with Anika at the castle, when he’d unburdened himself and she had done nothing but listen and accept him as he was, he’d felt cautious hope and a desire that went far deeper than just the physical for the incredible woman who just months ago had despised him. The way she had looked at him when he helped her with her porch repairs had made him feel more accomplished, more appreciated and more valued as a man than anything else he’d done to date.

And when they had made love that first night after the ultrasound, when he drifted his hand down to rest on her belly, he’d experienced the same sense of wonder he’d glimpsed on Anika’s face when she’d seen the baby on the ultrasound screen. The time they’d spent together had drawn him further into the fantasy. Meals shared, walks taken, business ideas discussed, all with a woman he genuinely liked and was coming to care for. How much he’d missed her while in Greece had made him wonder if he could possibly change. If they could be more.

And then he’d walked into the inn and destroyed it all. Proven to himself and to her that he was not cut out for this. If he let things continue, allowed the relationship to go any further, he would just be hurting both of them. Marriage and family were never a part of his future. That he had felt anything beyond a simple liking and desire for Anika was an achievement in itself. But she wanted more.

No.She deserved more. So did their baby.

His chest clenched. The right thing for all of them was for him to let them go, even if the thought of someone else being with Anika, of being around his child made him want to throw something at the wall.

Wasn’t the proof that he was emotionally incapable of being a father or a husband right in front of him? Once again, he had been so caught up in himself, in his own hurt, his own pride and confusion over Anika’s obsession with the inn that he’d added to her stress. Even though the doctors had assured them that it was normal for women to experience dizziness and cramping in the first trimester, he still had not been able to shake loose the insidious guilt that he had caused her episode.

Anika started. Her eyes fluttered open and latched on to his face.

“Hey,” she whispered softly.

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