Page 49 of An Heir Made In Hawaii (Hot Winter Escapes)

“You and I know there was much more to that night than just sex.”

She crossed her arms, refused to look at him. “I don’t know what I think anymore. I thought you knew me. I thought something more was developing between us.”

Silence stretched between them, the awkwardness shifting into a painful, gut-wrenching stillness punctuated only by the occasional hiss of the logs in the fireplace. Had it been just a few weeks ago that they’d lain in front of another fire, his hand on her stomach, all of the beautiful possibilities of the future stretched out before them?

He ran his hand through his hair. “I told you before, Anika, there’s only so much I can give you. I’m giving you everything I’m capable of.”

“No, you’re giving me everything you’re willing to let yourself be capable of.”

His eyes flashed. “I find it interesting that you judge me so harshly when you’re not being honest with yourself.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re working yourself into the ground. You’re putting your health at risk, and our baby’s, and for what? What do you want out of this place, Anika? Do you want to restore it to its former glory? How are you going to do that?”

His question hit her hard.

“Step by step,” she finally replied.

“And why? So you can honor a family legacy? A legacy you told me you don’t even really want to preserve?”

“If that’s what you think, what you took away from what I shared with you,” she said coldly, “then you don’t know me at all.”

“Oh, but I do.” His tone was low, dangerous, as he advanced on her, his usual carefree expression dark, brows drawn together and eyes narrowed. “Pride. Not wanting to surrender control, to accept help.”

“That’s part of it,” she admitted, taking a step closer to him. “But do you know why that pride matters so much? Because this is all I have left of my family. My mother grew up here. Mybabicawas born here, married on the shores of the lake. If I give this up, I have nothing left.”

As soon as the words left her lips, she wanted to snatch them back. Judging by the darkening expression on Nicholas’s face, she’d gone too far.

“Nothing?” he repeated. “Not me, not our child?”

“The baby is my future. This place is my past, my present.”

How could she make him understand how important this was? How much it meant to her to have this last connection to her family?

“You’re holding on too tightly to the past, Anika.”

“And what about you?” she countered.

“Me?”

“You act as if you’ve moved on. I appreciate everything you’ve done for the baby and me, Nicholas. But don’t stand there and pretend like I’m the only one struggling with her past.”

He glowered. “What am I not doing? I went to the ultrasound appointment with you, I’ve bought gifts for you and the baby, I showed up today when you needed me.”

“All wonderful things, Nicholas. But when I ask you what we should name the baby, you pull away. When I ask if you think it’s a boy or a girl, you change the subject. You do amazingly well at concrete things like buying things and reading articles. But you’re keeping our child at arm’s length.”

“You know my history,” he ground out. “I told you, I’m giving as much of myself as I can.”

“But are you working on giving your all?” When he just stared at her, she plowed on. “I can be patient with you, Nicholas, just as you’ve been patient with me. But,” she continued when he opened his lips to speak, “I can’t move forward with my own personal development when you’re essentially telling me that you’ll never be able to fully commit to our child or me.”

He stared at her for so long she wondered if he’d even heard what she’d said.

Then, finally: “And what if I can’t? What if I can only offer you and the baby pieces of who I am?”

How was it possible for her to realize she was in love with the father of her child and have her heart smashed into a thousand pieces within the span of a few minutes?

She stared at Nicholas, her pulse beating so fast she could barely catch her breath. Her eyes caressed his handsome face, the hollows below his cheekbones, the straight slant of his nose, the faint stubble that had so entranced her the morning after they’d made love in Kauai.

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