Page 95 of The Sound Of Silence

“That’s why I needed Jesse here,” she says instead of answering my question. “I knew. I justknew.”

My eyes widen as I turn her way, and she must feel them boring into her because she shakes her head and glances over. “I mean, I didn’t actually know. But…”

“But?”

“I’ve… ahh… I’ve slept with Jonah a few times…” She pauses. “Since he and Ashley got together.”

I scrunch my face because she seems so nervous to tell me when in fact, “I know.”To a degree.

“You know? How? Was it Jesse?”

Jesse knows?“What? No.Youtold me.”

“What?”

“You called me drunk one day and you told me. It was right before I begged you not to drink anymore.” But I’m guessing it continued on. The sex, not the drinking.

“Oh.” Pippa’s quiet for a beat and then she stands. “The last time we slept together, I had a pregnancy scare. Jonah flipped out. Started calling me a bunch of awful things and told me to stay away for a while.”

“Oh God.”

“Yep. I had grand plans to come here guns blazing with Jesse, to rub my perfect relationship in their faces. But as soon as I saw them, I just froze. All the pain came rushing back. I almost feel bad for making Jesse come with me, but I also don’t.” She chuckles to herself. “I’m glad he was here.”

I stare at her for a second as I process everything. “Fuck,” I mutter.What an asshole.What an awful situation.

Pippa stares right back at me, almost in shock until she bursts out laughing.

“Fuck, alright. But when did you start swearing again?”

Ugh, she noticed too.“I’m just trying it out, seeing if it suits me.”

Pippa’s lips pull into a small conspiratorial grin and I cringe. “I like it,” she says, but I ignore the words and focus on her expression.

“What’s that look for?”

“I think Jesse brings it out in you.”

Of course, he does because he drives me freaking cra—

“And I mean that as a good thing.”

Oh. She doesn’t just mean the swearing. “No, no. It’s—”

“It’s definitely him. I just haven’t figured out why. But it’s a good thing,” she repeats.

“It’s a coincidence.”

“Maybe. But don’t you find it strange that he’s turning you into the girl you used to be?”

Yes, it’s been on my mind all week. “I—”

“I think it’s because you’ve found someone you want to be yourself around. You found someone who makes you feel safe. Maybe.”

Her words shock me, but I try to keep a straight face.Is that it?He definitely makes me feel protected in a different way from how the town does. But… “I didn’t mean to—”

“Stop. Before you apologize for something you do not need to apologize for, I want you to know that as long as he treats you right, like I know he can, then I think you should go for it. Yet another reason I’m glad I made him help me.”

What?

---