Page 89 of The Sound Of Silence

Motherfucker, she knew the entire time.“I…” I’m speechless as Willow huffs out a laugh.

“I probably should have known that,” I finally say after a beat.

“You mean because of what I did?”

“Well, yeah.”That’s exactly what I mean, but I shouldn’t have said that. The last thing I want to do is talk about last night or the hot tub.My nose scrunches as I realize it’s inevitable. I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen. Especially considering it’s all I can think about.

Willow nods again. “You’re right. I never would have touched you either time if I thought you and Pippa were together.”

I sit down beside her but keep enough distance so that we don’t touch. With my gaze focused intently on the trees in front of us, I sigh. “Either way it shouldn’t have happened. Whether you knew it or not.”

“Why?” she challenges me.

“So many reasons, Buttercup.Toomany.”

Willow’s brows shoot up to her forehead, and her mouth drops open. “So you’re back on that?”

“Back on what?”

“Buttercup. You called me Buttercup again.”

Jesus. I didn’t even notice. My head just goes there when I’m thinking about the consequences of my actions. When I think about that day. Because that’s who she is to me… She’s Buttercup.

“Yep, we’re back on that.”

“But you wanted me. I could see it in your eyes.”

Fuck yes, I wanted you. I still want you.“I wanted what you were doing. There’s a difference.”

My words hang in the air until I turn Willow’s way to see her nod again. She brushes a stray hair behind her ear and closes her eyes, her lashes brushing against her cheek. “You’re right,” she says, before her beautiful green eyes flash open, locking on mine. “Thereisa difference.”

Fuck.Her face is void of emotion, but somehow I know she’s not actually agreeing with me. She can see through my words, and that just proves my point. She’s dangerous.

“I’m leaving tomorrow and… I’m not good for you, Willow. You deserve so much better.”

Willow huffs again. “You’re not the guy you pretend to be, Jesse.”

I can’t help but laugh because of the irony of that statement. “Spot on.”No truer words have ever been spoken. “I’m so much worse.”

Willow doesn’t argue with me this time, and we both fall silent. I consider running back on my own just to avoid any awkwardness, but when the first light of the sun paints the sky, I pause, my heart racing in my chest. I don’t need to look at Willow to know this is why we're here. That I was right about her chasing the sunrise. It’s why she runs so early.

But why do I know that?Why do I fucking know so much about her?

“I always loved the sunset,” she says, pulling me from my thoughts, her eyes locked on the tree line. “When I was a kid, I refused to go to bed until the day had fully crossed over to night.” A hint of a smile graces her lips, making my pulse spike as she continues. “But after my…after a while, sunrise became my thing, and I try not to miss them.”

After her…

An excruciating tightness fills my chest as my stomach swirls with guilt. After her life changed forever. After I…fuck.

“Willow—”

“This is one of the best places to see the full effect,” she says, cutting me off, and God, am I grateful. I’m a little concerned about what I was about to admit.

“Where else do you go?” I ask instead, keeping the topic on the sun.

“The Breaker Ranch is good, and so is the Pine Valley Winery, but this is my go-to.”

I nod even though she’s not looking my way, and while I have no idea what those two places are, I know that she’s missing out on the best one.

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