Page 65 of The Sound Of Silence

“Buttercup, you’re spiraling. Tell me why?”

Dammit.There’s that nickname again. My eyes flash to his and I cringe. “Buttercup?”

“You’re still dangerous, Willow.” He shrugs unapologetically. “Even more so after today. Now answer my question?”

“Please.”

His lips thin but he humors me. “Please.”

Taking a deep breath, I shift my focus to my boring as anything nails, picking at the edges, and ask what’s on my mind. “Did I push you to do more than you wanted to?”

Jesse’s body shakes as he huffs out a laugh. And I cringe again.

“You might have some kind of fucked-up power over me, Willow,” he rasps, making my heart flutter. “Butno onemakes me do something I don’t want to. Especially when it comes to sex.”

Sex.

“You want to have sex?” I blurt stupidly, nervously.

Jesse frowns. “Not right now, no.”

Oh.Why does that disappoint me? It shouldn’t. At all. After tearing me apart with his fingers, I should be satisfied and ready to take it easy for a moment. Gain my bearings. A few hours ago he was fake dating my sister and now… I need to slow down.Weneed to slow down. But I also really want more.

“I—”

“Turns out your description of me as a fallen angel checks out, because after that, I’ll definitely be spending my time with the horned beast down below.”

My eyes widen at his sudden change of direction, but I quickly recover.Why does he think this is wrong? Forbidden somehow?

“If feeling like this is a sin, then I’ll be down there with you. Because I think I want you to touch me again.”

I cover my mouth, shocked that those words actually came out of me, while Jesse sighs. He briefly closes his eyes, and when they open again, his turmoil does me in. He’s at war with himself, and the thought of that pains me. But while I deserve better than that, I’ve never wanted anyone more.

“Jesse, I—”

The water splashes as he springs toward me, palming my face with one hand as he flattens the other against the wall behind me, blocking me in. I startle at his sudden movement and feel myself slip, but before my head hits the edge, Jesse’s hand flies out to soften the blow. Mildly.

I wince at the pain, instinctively reaching for the wound, and my hand lands on top of his. Jesse's eyes bounce between my face and where our hands are curled into my hair, his eyes wide with what looks like fear.

A broken thought hits me out of nowhere, and I shiver uncontrollably, seemingly snapping Jesse out of the strange mood he’s in. “It's okay, I’ve got you,” he whispers, his hold tightening.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you.”I repeat the words silently as I stare into his eyes, my mind whirring with images I can’t quite decipher, my head rife with confusion.

“Sorry,” I whisper as I try to sit up, shaking off my thoughts. “I just…I feel like I’ve been here before.”

The words haven’t even completely left my mouth before Jesse’s springing away from me again,his eyes locked on something over my shoulder. I follow his gaze curiously, but there’s no one there. The doorway remains empty.

“Jesse, what’s wrong?”And why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?

Jesse shakes his head as if to say no, but I’m not sure what he’s responding to. I open my mouth to ask when he hits me with a look full of remorse, leaning back as far as his body allows him.

“This can’t happen again.”

“What?”I ask meekly, confused by his sudden change in demeanor.

“This. Us. It can’t happen again.” He pauses for a second before shaking his head once more, his face now void of emotion. “I’m dating your sister, for fuck’s sake. I’m leaving as soon as they open the damn road. And there isnothingbetween us.”

Jesus.I wince as his words physically sting me, closing my eyes to block him out. While I never expected declarations of love, I didn’t see this coming. And I should have.

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