Page 40 of The Sound Of Silence

“As I mentioned, Lucia and Chris have decided on a name for their precious little girl.”

“That’s fantastic. I can’t wait to hear it.”But why do you look so panicked?

Her breathing shallows as her eyes dart around the room, looking for something. If it’s help she’s seeking, she’s not getting it. We’re the only two in the shop.

“I’m sorry to be here out of the blue, and in your sacred place, but I wanted to be the one to tell you. And you know this town—gossip spreads faster than fire.”

She’s right. It does. But I wouldn’t have thought Lucia’s daughter's name would qualify as gossip.

“After a lot of thought, Lucia’s named her daughter Jade, and she wanted me to talk to you about it.”

My world stills, and everything around me fades away until I’m left with darkness and a ringing in my ears.So much for not being a reflection of my past.Taking in shallow breaths, I try to push through, but it’s a struggle. I can only vaguely hear words being spoken before a pressured sensation rests on my back. “Willow. Willow.”

My heart races as I work hard to fight my demons. It feels like a lost cause until I’m finally able to bring myself back, focusing on my senses. The light shining from the lamp on my counter, the smell of my Forever Love oil permeating the air—strawberry, vanilla… I run through it all as my store slowly comes back into focus, and I see Bea still standing in front of me with tears in her eyes.

“I told her not to do it. I’m so sorry.”

What?Oh right,Jade.

It’s been years since someone spoke that name to me. Probably because they knew it would garner this very reaction. But I think about her. I was only just thinking about her. And now I’m going to be faced with a constant reminder every single day. Another reason for people to stare. To pity me.

“No… It’s okay. It’s a lovely name.” I don’t ask why, but I want to. She didn’t know Jade. She only moved here after Jade was gone. She wasn’t there.

“It was Chris’s mother’s name,” she says without prompting.Oh.

“Then it’s perfect.”

I try to smile, but if it looks as fake as it feels then she’s never going to buy it. And from the pitied smile she returns, I know she hasn’t, but I keep up the charade anyway.

After I wave off her attempt at comforting me, Bea buys the Christmas oil and pats me on the shoulder before she departs.

I hold strong, but as soon as the bell chimes above my door, I shudder and a high-pitched cry escapes me.

Jade.

Jade.

My breathing shallows as I run her name through my mind over and over. With this reaction, I should probably talk to someone about it… Mom, Dad, even Pippa? But no, I can’t. Even though they won’t let me move on, they’ve all moved on. And other than me having to tell them I’m okay, over and over, they don’t want to talk about it. So I won’t. I can handle this. I can.But God, I miss her. If Jade were here, she’d know what to say to get me through this. She’d know how to help. But she’s not, and I’m stuck doing this alone.

I pinch my leg to snap myself out of my spiraling thoughts and will myself to move on. I’m a strong, independent woman. I am not a prisoner of my past.Letting go in three…two…one.

I close up the shop for a second time and slowly make my way home, stopping via the diner to buy myself some time. If I walk inside looking how I feel, then there’s no way Pippa will leave me alone, and I’m not in the mood to talk about it.

Weary-eyed, I stumble through my front door with takeout in hand and a fake smile in place, ready to head straight to my room, but when I’m met with silence, I’m able to relax.

After putting my keys on the shelf, I kick my shoes off and sigh in relief, feeling instantly calmed by the safe haven I’ve created for myself. I pull my long hair free from its restraint and shake my head out, almost falling over.Am I really that drained?Huffing out a laugh, I flick my hair out of my eyes and jump at the sight of Pippa and Jesse in front of me.

“Jesus! What is wrong with you?”

Why the hell were they so quiet?

“What’s wrong withyou?” Pippa laughs. “We were standing here the entire time. You were in your own world.”

“Right, okay. Just tired. Why are you standing in the middle of the hallway though? Actually, you know what? I don’t care. As you were.”

I walk away without another word but not before catching Jesse’s curious expression. I can’t quite pinpoint what it is, but it’s a mix of annoyance and concern and maybe even nerves. But that seems unlikely.

When I reach my bedroom door, I curse myself for my brief outburst and spin around in a hurry. “I’m sorry. It’s been a weird day. Are you both good for dinner or…”

---