Page 114 of The Sound Of Silence

Throwing my phone on the counter, I drop my head into my hands and blow out a breath. What did I expect was going to happen? I should look at it like a fling. We had some fun, and now it’s back to reality for both of us. But fuck that.

I don’t want to.

He brought me to life again, and I know deep down, I’ve changed him. We can’t come back from that. It’s not possible.

I contemplate messaging him again, but my phone rings before I get the chance.

Jesse

Just seeing his name has my heart doing somersaults beneath my rib cage.

Taking a deep breath, I answer, my heart firmly lodged in my throat. “I tell you I hate you and you call me?”

Jesse huffs out a laugh. “Yep, because I don’t believe you,” he responds, his uncharacteristically light voice lacking its usual gruffness. “Not yet anyway.”And it’s back.

“Are you really that convinced it will happen? That I’ll hate you?” I ask, wishing I didn’t already know the answer.

“Yep.” He sighs, and I picture him running a hand through his mussed-up hair, his soulful eyes begging me to listen, to understand. “It’s only a matter of time.”

I should let it go; pushing him on it won’t help my cause. But I can’t do that. I need him to see that for some stupid reason, I want him… every broken piece.

“You had the opportunity to ghost me. Why not speed up the process?”

He’s silent for a moment, and I can’t handle it. I’m just about to laugh it off and tell him I’m joking when he releases a long, drawn-out sigh.

“I’m not ready to let you go.”

My eyes fall shut as my entire body melts. It’s not a declaration of love, but it’s the closest thing I’m going to get, and right now, it’s everything.

“Does that mean you want to see me again?” I ask, my heart pounding so hard I take a deep breath to calm it.

Jesse chuckles, but something about it sounds defeated. He’s resigned to the fact that I’m in his life. “Yeah, Buttercup. I can’t seem to stay the fuck away.”

My breath hitches and my heart soars. Even the use of my nickname doesn’t sting as much as it used to. There’s something almost comforting about it now.

Deciding to let him off the hook, I change the subject just as someone calls out for him in the background. “Are you all set for tomorrow?” I ask about the charity event he’s participating in.

“As ready as I’ll ever be. I have a love-hate relationship with these things.”

“I guess it’s par for the course when you’re a hockey superstar.”

“It doesn’t have to be. But I have the means to do it so…”

“Uh-oh.”I’m totally swooning. “Is Jesse Hastings showing a softer side?”

“I blame you,” he says with another sigh. “Don’t tell anyone.” His voice holds a smile in it that lights up my soul, but it’s fleeting when he’s called away again.“Jesse. You’re up.”

“I have to go but… can I call you tomorrow?” He hesitates. “After the event.”

An invisible weight lifts from my chest as my head falls back in relief. “Of course, I’d love that,” I say, unable to stop my smile. “And thank you for calling me. I feel bad for joking now.”

“Don’t. I get it. I knew what you meant and I… I’ll talk soon, okay?”

And you what? My pulse races, but I don’t ask him what it was, what he’s holding back. I have to take things slowly.

“Talk soon,” I repeat instead. “Bye, Jesse.”

When I hang up, I feel slightly more at ease than I did before the call. The tense feeling I’ve been bottling up subsides to make way for something else—hope.

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