“What, no.” I choke on air, her question coming out of nowhere. “Why would I be here with Pippa if I was?”
Willow nods in understanding. “Okay, do you have a kid you don’t want me to meet?”
My head drops back and I groan. “Jesus. No. It’s nothing like that.”
Willow slides closer, but I don’t look her way, closing my eyes instead.
“Have you ever killed someone, committed an unforgivable crime, or worse?”
The fuck!My eyes flash to hers as my body tenses.Yes.
She’s closer than I expected, making it impossible to think straight. Closing my eyes again, I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh. “Why can’t you just trust that I’ve been trying to do the right thing?”Until now.
“Just answer the question, Jesse.” Willow huffs. “Are you a wanted felon?”
“I’m on a billboard in Times Square, for fuck’s sake. It’s not hard to find me.”
“Then what is it? Because if you’re about to tell me it’s because you’re a fucking ‘player,’” she says using quote fingers, “I will lose my goddamn mind. That’s a bullshit answer.”
Fuck, I wish it was that.
“That’s part of it, sure, but…” I trail off again. I can’t believe I’m about to say this.
“But what?” Willow pushes, her frustration growing. Not that I blame her.
“If you’d let me finish, I was going to say that I’m done. I can’t fight it anymore. I’m not strong enough to stay away. You’re my fucking undoing.”
I pause and Willow stares at me with wide eyes, clearly expecting me to push her away again. And she’s not entirely wrong. While I know she’s not fragile, if she ever learns the truth, it will completely shatter her heart. And I need to make her see reason.
Better to break her heart than to crush her soul.
But I’m past the point of no return.
“You may not see it, but you’re so fucking strong, Willow. One of the strongest people I know. And I’m going to need you to use that strength to walk away. To turn around and never look back. You deserve a happily ever after. All I can give you is right now.” I swallow a lump in my throat as I attempt one last plea. “If ever there was a moment to use your self-preservation, it's now. Because if you stay, it will ruin you, and I won’t be able to stop it.”
Willow’s quiet for a beat, and I hope to hell it’s because she’s seriously considering my words. But when she lifts her chin and gazes at me in challenge, I know that I’ve lost.
“And if I don’t want to?” she asserts, defiance in her tone. “If I choose not to listen?”
“Would it change your mind if I begged?” I ask, pleading with her to trust me. “Because I’m not above dropping to my knees for you.Anythingif it will keep you safe.”
Willow shakes her head, holding strong.She doesn’t get it. “Why are you so convinced you’re going to destroy me?”
“I can’t…” My voice cracks as dread fills my chest. “Willow,please.”
Her eyes soften as my plea finally breaks through her hardened exterior.
“Okay,” she rushes out. “Then answer me this… What would have happened if I’d just let you finish what you started? Like you asked? Would I have woken up tomorrow to find you gone?”
I can’t lie to her anymore. Not about this, anyway. “Yes.”
Her lips tremble, and I can see the moment her heart begins to break. She’s finally seeing me for the monster I am.
“Why is this so hard? We’ve known each other for a week. Why does it feel like an epically fated love story?” Her gaze drops from mine and she laughs to herself. “God, I’m crazy. This is crazy. I should just listen to you.”
She runs a hand down her face, her head shaking as she does. “It’s just… I don’t even know what it is. But Ifeelit.” She turns back to me and presses her hand to her chest. “Here. I feel ithere. And I have no fucking idea what it means. But I can’t stay away either.” She whispers and my heart bleeds for her. For both of us.
Grabbing her hand, I entwine our fingers but keep our hands close to her chest. “And if I’m right? If I break you?”