Page 30 of The Sound Of Silence

He wasthere.

He was on the mountain with us. With me, Willow, and Jade. We discussed this. I honestly don’t understand why he’d take the risk. Unless he had no choice? Or maybe he never felt like he had as much to lose as I did. After all, he stayed behind.

Despite making regular eye contact, he thankfully keeps his distance, though I don’t miss the way his eyes seem to follow Willow around the room, like he’s trying to unnerve me or he’s genuinely as fucked-up about this situation as I am.God, I wish I knew which it was.

After ordering my beer and Pippa’s cocktail, I turn my back to the bar as I wait, subtly searching for Willow again, my anger spiking when I find her.

She’s quietly chatting with an older couple, completely engrossed in whatever it is the woman is saying, while Tate’s friend stares at her from behind, with an almost predatory expression. A big part of me wants to run over and rip his eyes out, even though I don’t know him. There’s just something about him that doesn’t sit right. I get the sense that Tate’s the less dangerous of the two of them, and that’s saying something.

It’s not the first time I’ve noticed him tonight, and every time I see him, I have no doubt my blood pressure rises. Call me paranoid, but I don’t like the way he seems to exude charm as he chats with people around the room, or the way he can flit between different moods and expressions in a heartbeat, morphing his appearance to suit any situation.

Normally I wouldn’t notice any of that about a person, but it’s almost like he’s allowing me to see him for who he really is, wanting to make sure I feel uncomfortable. I just haven’t figured out why.

My fingers ache from how tightly they’re locked around the backrest of the stool, so when the guy takes a step in Willow’s direction, I’m so worked up, I don’t think about the consequences as I stalk his way.

“Where’s the fire, and more importantly, where’s my drink?” Pippa says, catching me as I blindly move past her, my attention fixed on my destination. “Jesse?”

The concern in her voice breaks into my rage and I stop, easing her mind with a smile. “Sorry, I thought I saw Jonah heading your way,” I lie, though I’m not really sure why.

Pippa laughs, and I use the opportunity to glance back in Willow’s direction. She’s still in the same conversation, but the guy’s gone, instantly calming my erratic heartbeat, while equally giving me a new reason to keep my eye on her.Not that I need an excuse.

Chapter Fourteen

Willow

Whenthedinner’shalfover, I overhear someone mentioning Jesse’s speech and freeze. I’d actually forgotten he had a purpose other than being Pippa’s man. The latter seems to have taken over my thoughts.

Since I’ve spent most of the time talking with my old teachers or friends of my parents, I have to admit, tonight hasn’t been as bad as I imagined it would be.

Except when it is.

Except those moments when my eyes flash to Jesse and Pippa, and the sting of jealousy hits me. I don’t like these new feelings, but I can’t stop them. I keep picturing his gaze locked on me instead of her, his voice whispering inmyear, his touch… Actually, I haven’t seen them touch, except when in the presence of Jonah, which I’m sure is a conscious effort on their part.Here’s to small mercies.

As I listen to my mother discuss the board's decision to introduce mindfulness coaches at the school—my dad’s last legacy and something I’m happy they’re finally doing—my eyes once again traitorously drift toward Pippa’s table.

An uncomfortable pang hits me in the pit of my stomach as she reaches forward to brush her finger along Jesse’s cheek. And while I wish I could look away, I can’t. I watch every second because I deserve the torture. I deserve the guilt. Only when he subtly flinches, my stomach twists for a completely different reason. It’s not the first time I’ve seen him react that way. And I’m trying to figure out why.

My mom taps me on the shoulder, forcing my gaze back to hers, and I comply. Though it doesn’t stop me from thinking about it, and my mind fills with theories.

Have they broken up? Are they just keeping up appearances?Is it fake?

I hold back a laugh as the last idea hits me.What is this… a romance novel?

All I know is, something doesn’t feel right.

I’m still stuck in my head when the main meal is served, and following that, the lights dim as the music morphs from mature classics to party hits, luring the guests toward the dance floor like sheep.

I don’t move.

I’m not opposed to dancing in general. I used to love it, but these days I prefer keeping my seat warm watching the scene play out before me. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they dance.

Pippa drops into the empty seat beside me part-way through the first song and sighs. “Is it over yet?”

After a sip of my perfectly aged red wine—Ashley is nothing if not a perfectionist—I raise my glass in agreement, trying not to blurt out all the burning questions I’m dying to ask her. “Some would say it’s only just begun.”

“Ugh. I know. And that someone would usually be me, but I’m not feeling it. What should we do to pass the time…” she trails off with her hand lifted to her mouth in thought. “Oh, I know!” She suddenly cheers, drawing the attention of those around us. Not that she notices or cares.

“How long do you think they’ve been together?” she asks, pointing to a couple I've never seen before. Though something about the woman looks familiar.

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