Page 2 of The Vow

Carmelo spat out the eggs he’d managed to get into his mouth. Ash whooped, Nix swore. April tutted and shook her head, but smiled gently.

“Oh, fuck my life…” Carmelo groaned, wincing now.

Colt came to the table now, his plate piled high with everything. Carmelo looked on, wallowing in self pity.

“Ash, buddy, could you get the pig some decent clothes?”

Ash snorted. “I’m not Dobby the fucking house elf.”

April snickered.

Colt fixed Ash with a stare and raised his eyebrows.

Nix spoke up around a mouthful of bacon. “Yeah, after breakfast.”

Colt nodded and tucked into his steaming breakfast.

Carmelo took this as an opportunity to hang his head in his hands.

“What’s become of me, Prez?”

Colt listened and chewed his food, and Carmelo carried on. “I’m a washed-up cop who had a drunken romp with three strippers. What headlines would that make? I’d lose my job, my family would disown me-”

“It won’t make the headlines ‘cause the Mayor is in our pocket-”

“Or we are in the Mayor’s pocket.”

“Either way, you’re safe.”

“You could come and join the MC then, and sleep with them every night,” Nix interjected.

Carmelo fixed him with a dry scowl. “We’ve been over this, I absolutely couldn’t-”

Nix shrugged. “This is your tragic backstory, pig, you can’t get hard unless you’ve got one pussy on your face, one on your dick and one on each hand-”

“Hey, hey, we have innocent young ears present,” April mock chided them.

“I need to go cold turkey. Don’t I? Break away, take some time to… get healthy, find myself… take up a hobby or something…”

“Get your dick pierced,” Nix suggested.

Carmelo rolled his eyes. “Oh right, and how would that help?”

“Gotta wait six months before you can fuck,” Nix explained.

Carmelo was about to bite Nix’s head off for such a stupid suggestion but then tilted his chin pensively. “Actually not a bad idea.”

Nix smiled smugly. “I’ll do it for you if you like.”

Carmelo frowned. “Err… no thanks.”

Ash leaned over. “He’s qualified. He did his own dick. His nipples, my nipple, he’s going to do Penny’s nipple…”

Despite how he was feeling, Carmelo’s dick kicked in his jeans. “Wow, fuck, I didn’t think-”

“Hey, enough thinking about Penny’s nipples,” Nix chimed in. “The point is, a good way to avoid sex and also set yourself up for a highball of pleasure for when you next do it is to get a piercing. Offer is there, pig.” Nix shrugged.

“But not today,” Ash piped up. The two were like twins themselves almost now, thick as thieves.

---