Page 82 of Enticing My Off Limits Billionaire

"I think I just...needed a little more time to figure things out?" I say. "Quinn takes up my whole life when he's here. Not because he's trying to do that, but because I feel so many things for him that it's hard to find myself in the chaos."

"Hm..." Andrea taps her pen against her chin. "Talk to me about that. Are you having trouble parsing your feelings?"

"Of course I am," I say. "I'm always behaving myself around everyone else. Trying to be the good daughter or the best friend and to tamp down what I truly feel. But with Quinn...he's the only person I don't have to lie with."

I smile as I think back to one of our first nights together—when he told me to throw a fit.

"There was this night when he told me it was okay to let everything out," I say. "He encouraged me to essentially have a tantrum in the middle of Central Park late at night, which is not something I would typically do when I might scare someone. But I did it, and it felt amazing, and ever since then, I haven't bothered policing myself around him."

"That's interesting language—'policing' yourself," Andrea says. "Do you feel like you have to temper your behavior so you don't scare people away?"

I nod. "Yeah, I think so. I've always been afraid of being too much for people. Too emotional, too intense. But with Quinn, I don't have to worry about that. He sees me and accepts me for who I am."

"That's a beautiful thing," Andrea says. "But it also sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on Quinn to be your emotional sounding board."

I hadn't thought about it like that before—but Andrea is right. I've been leaning on Quinn, using him as my support...and it's not going to be easy to support him this time around.

"You're right," I say, feeling a little deflated. "I don't want to burden him."

"It's okay to lean on people," Andrea says. "But it sounds like you're a bit nervous with him coming home like this. He's having problems with his family right now, right?"

"It seems that way, but he doesn't talk much about his family," I say, twisting my hands in my lap. "Quinn has always been the adult in our relationship; he takes care of me, talks me through things. Ever since we met, that's what he's done for me."

"Him coming home with his brother like this marks a change in your dynamic," Andrea nods. "It makes sense that you would be nervous; he may need you more than you need him right now."

It strikes me as odd that this hasn't occurred to me until now, but she's absolutely right. "I've never gotten the impression that Quinn needs anyone," I say. "Ever since we met, he's been...well, it seems he's been fine. Even when his brother showed up after a bender, and he took him to rehab, all Quinn wanted to talk about was my problems."

"He's probably deflecting a bit," Andrea says with a small smile. "Not sharing anything private here, but I've known Quinn for a very long time—and he has a tendency to take on other people's issues."

"Do you think that's the only reason he loves me?"

Andrea's face falls. "Madison—no, not at all."

And there's another breakthrough right there, even if it feels horrible. Maybe I'm afraid that he'll move on from me when he has somebody else to take care of...

"Fuck," I curse. "I have major abandonment issues."

Andrea gives me a gentle smile, leaning forward slightly and putting a tissue box beside me. "These are here if you need them."

"I don't," I blurt out, but tears sting my eyes. "But I'm not—what if he decides I'm not doing enough to support him when he comes back? What if it doesn't feel as good to be together again as I want it to be?"

Andrea nods, offering me a sympathetic look. "Those are all valid concerns," she says. "But it sounds like you're putting much pressure on yourself to be everything to Quinn."

"I am," I admit. "I want to be there for him, but I also don't want to lose myself in the process."

"That's a very real fear," Andrea says. "But it's important to remember two things—first, that you aren't going to lose yourself. And second, that it's okay to set boundaries, even with people we love."

"I don't know if I'm good at that," I say, feeling defeated.

"It takes practice," Andrea says. "But it's important to start somewhere."

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "Okay...so how do I do that?"

"Well, for starters, I think it's important to communicate with Quinn," Andrea says. "Let him know how you're feeling, and make sure you're both on the same page with what you expect from each other during this time."

I nod, feeling a little more in control of the situation. "Okay, I can do that."

"And also, it's important to take care of yourself," Andrea adds. "Make sure you're taking time for yourself, doing things that make you happy and fulfilled. That way, you're not putting all your happiness on Quinn."

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