Page 34 of Puck the Holidays

Hattie

Tonight is the organization Christmas party and I’m still out shopping for a dress. I don’t know why I thought waiting until the last possible second was a good idea, but here we are. Granted, I’ve been a little bit preoccupied the last few days with work and then Connor scaring the absolute shit out of me and me subsequently trying to wrap my head around all of that, but still. Now I’m out scouring the racks in a panic.

All I Want for Christmas is Youstarts blaring from my back pocket and I roll my eyes, but smile. In his quest to get me to love all things Christmas, Connor had made all of my main contacts’ ringtones holiday songs. Even my text messages come in with a “Ho! Ho! Ho!” I have to admit, I kind of like it. This December on the whole has been almost nothing butgoodso far. Great even. All of the events at work have gone amazingly well, there was a Christmas flotilla on the Sound last night, just like we used to have at one of the marinas back home, and Ollie’s Christmas program at school had been the most chaotic and adorable thing I’d ever seen. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I’m cautiously optimistic that this year might finally be the year that December doesn’t royally dick me over.

I fish my phone out and answer without a greeting.

“How fancy does everyone usually get for this shindig? Or is it more of a hootnanny? They’re very different things, ya know,” I tell Connor seriously.

His deep chuckle resonates from the speaker and my eyes slide shut. God, I love his laugh. It has been nearly impossible to not say fuck the risk and just dive into this thing with Connor the past few days. I’ve managed, but it’s been difficult as all hell because I’ve been feelingallthe things. I can’t delude myself into believing that it isn’t something real or just a passing crush or only a case of wanting to get in his pants (though of course, I really,reallydo) anymore.

Seeing him hurt had shifted things so completely inside my head and heart. Before he’d woken up in the hospital, I’d watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, the light fluttering of his eyes behind his lids, and had simply thoughtmine. I’d never had such a feeling before, such a weird, random, but completely certain thought. Not with Josh or any other guy I've ever dated. Sure, I knew I liked them or loved them even, but I never just felt deep in my heart that they wereit, that a piece of a puzzle was clicking into place. That with him, the picture finally made sense.

But with Connor…

Of course, I haven’t actually voiced any of this to him because, well, I’m slightly chicken shit and he’s had so much going on with the whole almost-winding-up-paralyzed-or-dead thing and recovering afterwards, that I didn’t think it was a good time to throw this on him too. I know that he’s attracted to me, I know that he likes me, maybe even more than in a friendly way, but I don’t know if he would actually want to take that leap with me. It’s all extremely complicated and I’ve chosen not to think about it too hard right now. I will after things settle down a bit. Maybe after the party or after New Years, maybe that could be my resolution: coming clean about my feelings. For now, I push it away and focus on finding a freaking dress for tonight.

“Hmm, not quite black-tie, but definitely dressy. Is upscale-cocktail a thing?”

“It is now.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m dress shopping for something upscale-cocktail apparently.”

“Ah, and how’s that going?”

I pull out the skirt of a flowy green number, but let the fabric flit through my fingers. “Ehhh.”

“Well, whatever you pick will be a winner.” After a long pause, he adds, “Go with something blue.”

I don’t know why, but my stomach flutters at the thought of wearing something that he’d like, that heaskedme to wear.

“Hey, I gotta run. I’ll, uh, see you there, alright?” he says, clearing his throat.

“Yeah, I’ll see you.”

We hang up and I renew my search, a bit of excitement pulsing through my veins. I try another store and spy a glittering, midnight blue dress in the back and beeline for it. A wide smile spreads across my face as I pull it from the rack.

Perfect.

I try it on and, thank God, it fits like a glove. I find some strappy blue stilletos that match perfectly and head across the little square towards the coffee shop.

“Hattie!” I turn, trying to pinpoint where the voice had just come from in the overwhelming crowd, and spot Kasey. I smile and wave, waiting for her to make her way through the throng of people out holiday shopping.

“Hey, Kasey. How are ya?”

“I’m good. Trying to find something to wear tonight.”

I laugh, holding up my bag. “I left it to the last minute too, but Angelica’s has some winners for sure.”

“Oooh, I’ll check there next.”

“Hey, I haven’t gotten a chance to thank you for the other night. For helping me to not pass out into a lump on the floor,” I say with a grin and a wrinkle of my nose.

She laughs and waves me off. “Of course, don’t even worry about it. Those injuries can be super intense and adrenaline makes the body do some crazy stuff.” I give her a nod of thanks, grateful that she doesn’t think I’m stupid or weak or something for getting so worked up. Her phone rings. “Oh I gotta take this but it’ll only be a second, promise.”

I nod and look around while she chats with someone. I smile as a little girl, maybe two or three, toddles her way up to the big Christmas tree in the middle of the square, holding out a chubby hand towards one of the big blue ornaments. I’m just about to shift my gaze back to Kasey when something catches my eye on the other side of the square, just beyond the tree. Something burnt orange.A longhorns hat.

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