Page 81 of Always Mine

“So,” I start, shifting my legs around under the table. “You thought I’d come back with a stick up my ass? Are you disappointed that I’m not?”

He makes a thoughtful noise, lips pursed as he takes in my words. “I wouldn’t saydisappointed. It’s good to know the guy I once knew is still alive and well.” He pauses, eyes hardening a bit. “It does piss me off to know that he didn’t so much as shoot me a bat signal over the last three years. I figured you thought you were too good for us now.”

Ouch, that hurts.

“I never thought that.” Not for a second. I’m not one of those people who are ashamed of where they came from. “In my defense, you did block me on social media.” He, Hunter, and Wyatt.

“Well, blocking you was for Wyatt. He asked us too. Not that it mattered, you know I never use that damn Instagram anyway.” He shakes his head, clearly not seeing the point of social media. “I’ve had the same number forever though. So, that’s not really an excuse.”

I’m not trying to fight, but… “You never reached out to me either.”

“Not to point out the obvious, but Wyatt asked me not to. After he showed me some of your Instagram stories, you seemed happy, like you moved on…”From him. He doesn’t have to say the word for me to get it. “So when he asked me to block you, I did.”

“Damn it, I’m stupid,” I grumble, letting my head fall forward. “That’s not how it was, but I see why he thought that.”

He sighs, “Well, it doesn’t really matter what I say about it anyway. That’s a conversation for you two to have.”

“Plan on it,” I mutter, realizing how big of a misunderstanding all of this was. I really should have reached out to Wyatt. By assuming he was moving on, I let too much time pass. I’m an idiot.

“I’ve been angry at you for so long. Especially over the Wyatt thing,” he says, pulling me from my thoughts.

“I don’t blame you for that. While I hate that you have hang-ups about me now, I can’t be mad. I royally fucked up, but I am doing my damndest to fix it,” I tell him, feeling like I have a lot more to make up for than even I realized.

“You hurt him.”

I nod, ready to take whatever he plans on throwing my way. He wants to cuss me out, tell me I’m a dick, a bastard? I’ll take it. I know I am. “I did.”

He taps his chest, holding my stare. “I was there for him.” This time his voice has a little edge to it.

“You were.” I agree. It’s the truth, and I’m not sure if he’s saying this as a friend or as a heartbroken man who wanted more. “I’m not trying to go tit-for-tat with you. I know I fucked up by leaving and I’m glad he had you here to help him heal. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for stepping in and picking up the shattered world I created for him. I feel guilty over how I left things, but I’ve been trying since I got back to prove to him how sorry I am.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, fingertips drawing lazy patterns on the table as he tries to piece together a response. “So you’re serious about being with him this time?”

I want to tell him that I was always serious about Wyatt. Even though I left him, it was never because I didn’t want him. I just didn’t know how it was possible to have everything.

I suck in a breath, and give him the biggest bout of honesty I can. “I don’t think I’ve ever not been serious about Wyatt. As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be near him. To tell him about my day, laugh with him, and spend time with him. Even when we were kids, and the small things like riding bikes and fishing, in my head those were things that I did with Wyatt.” I pause, thinking of that boy I used to love, who turned into the man I love now. He’s always been mine. “I wish I could give you a better answer for the reason I left the way I did. Why I thought us breaking up was better, but the only thing I can say is that fear is a paralyzing thing. I was worried about all the what-ifs and made a rash decision during the heat of the moment that I’ve regretted ever since.”

We fall into silence once more and I watch an array of emotions spread across his face.

“You know, I had a whole speech prepared,” he sighs, folding his arms over his chest. “But it doesn’t really work if you’re sincere and, well,notan asshole.”

That makes me laugh, giving us the icebreaker we desperately needed. “Sorry.”

His lips tug up in a smirk, and he shakes his head in wonderment. “You’re ruining my hero moment.”

“You are the hero, you know?” I tell him seriously. “I know Wyatt would agree.”

His facial expression changes and for one second he shows me his hand. The sad, defeated guy who knows his chance is gone, making me hate myself a little. He lets out a snort-cough, reaching up and swiping at his face. “Uh, stop, already! Feelings are gross, and I don’t want to do this with you.”

The mood feels lighter, thankfully, and I grab a napkin, tossing it to the spot in front of him playfully. “Just being honest with a friend.”

He rolls his eyes, pushing the napkin away. “Friend, huh? I guess, but you’re still on my shit list. Wyatt may have forgiven you, but I can’t say the same. You’re on a probationary period.”

“I'll be on my best behavior.”

‘Yeah, good. And Pax, If you hurt him again….” He trails off, a serious expression on his face.

I mirror his look, needing him to see my sincerity. “I swear to you, Cooper. I have no intention of ever hurting him again.”

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